


Dance With Me

by StareIntoTheSunset



Series: Ballroom [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Ballroom competitions, First Meetings, Fluff & Angst, Hugely inspired by Latin Music, I am NOT a professional dancer lmao, I know it’s weird just deal with it, Illumi and his Family Issues, Kind of really gay, M/M, Minor ships in the background, Romance & Humor, Several months pass during this fic, Solo competitions, dancer!au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-03-05 08:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18824758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StareIntoTheSunset/pseuds/StareIntoTheSunset
Summary: Someone talented like the ebony haired male needed an equally talented partner for an upcoming competition, one that would come after the solo competitions a few days from now. But there weren’t very many people who could match such a level when it came to dancing. It’s either Illumi couldn’t feel like they were good enough, or because they quit before they could go anywhere else. So it was a constant struggle; they’d come, maybe for a few weeks or so, then they’d leave. The cycle would repeat. Illumi often showed indifference to this, but somewhere deep down, he felt... disheartened. Irritated.Until the solo competitions.It changedeverything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to add a little more substance and feeling to the fanfic, play Hisoka’s theme during his solo parts and some traditional Japanese Geisha music for Illumi’s.  
> This is my first HxH fic, so I’m sorry if anyone’s OOC!  
> And I apologize for any further spelling errors.

The Zoldyck family was known for their unique style in the field of dance. They were born into it, pros since birth, training hard to compete at competitions and such to expand their reputation. Not a single Zoldyck has ever not won a medal. Whether it be bronze, silver, or gold, they’ve always been in the top three.  

Illumi, the eldest of the family, was naturally one of the best, though his younger brother Killua was expected to surpass him sooner or later. Illumi’s slender body was perfect — outfits seemed to flow seamlessly as he danced to the rythm of the music. His skin was porcelain, a feature he had earned from the Zoldyck genes. His hair, long and dark, danced around in the air with every turn and twist. And his eyes, though a void of black, were always illuminated by the spotlight. 

Now, someone talented like the ebony haired male needed an equally talented partner for an upcoming competition, one that would come after the solo competitions a few days from now. But there weren’t very many people who could match such a level when it came to dancing. It’s either Illumi couldn’t feel like they were good enough, or because they quit before they could go anywhere else. So it was a constant struggle; they’d come, maybe for a few weeks or so, then they’d leave. The cycle would repeat. Illumi often showed indifference to this, but somewhere deep down, he felt... disheartened. Irritated.

Until the solo competitions.

It changed _everything_.

Thousands of dancers had come to prove their worth and skills, though Illumi was obviously better than the rest of them. Although he was... somewhat modest — mostly because he didn’t talk unless he needed to — he knew he could outbest everyone else. He honestly didn’t even have to try. He got a couple of stares, most from those who had recognized him. 

Now, Illumi didn’t observe the dancers — when it was their turn to perform, at least — very much, mostly because he never found himself entertained while watching them. They were all novices, and kind of... _terrible_. Some decent performers came once in a while, but it was rather rare. 

Applause came from the outsides of the stage, but to Illumi, it sounded like claps of pity. 

“Next,” The host started, extending a hand out. “The magician: Hisoka Morow!” 

For once, though only by chance, Illumi glanced up at the stage to see the dancer. Though it was only supposed to be the flicker of his eyes, he managed to find something that caught the black void that stared out from the side of the stage — vibant red hair, cleanly slicked back into a point, matched along with a dark red suit with gold embroidery. That was all he had seen so far, but once the man turned his head, Illumi could see a side profile of his face. It was rather sculpted, though he had a crooked nose — as if he had gotten into a fight or something of that sort, broke his nose, and never really bothered to fix it — with high cheekbones. His skin wasn’t as porcelain as Illumi’s, but it was still pretty pale. And was that makeup the other was wearing?

But the most eye catching feature was this man’s eyes; the colour of a deep amber, like a feline’s, a deadly aura wirling in the depths of such a vibrant yellow; The look of a predator ready to pounce on it's prey. Illumi watched, rapt at that confident look in those amber orbs; that mischevious glint that crossed them underneath the heat of the spotlight. 

Illumi blinked. He looked... interesting. The Zoldyck could probably compare him to a clown. 

Hisoka set himself in the middle of the stage, a broad smirk on his face. He bowed his head, the shadows overcasting his features as they all waited for the music to start. The sounds of nylon strings played vibrantly rung through Illumi’s ears; A solo, at first, then came the fast paced beat that went along with it. The strings began to play a catchy, fast tune, one that held hispanic vibes to it. It sounded extravagant, the tune upbeat and giving off flamboyant vibes, like a sly, cunning man about to demonstrate something grand in front of a crowd.

The redheaded dancer moved, his movements graceful yet strong, his body rolling along to the music as he suddenly took out a hankerchief from his fist out of nowhere; no wonder he was called the magician. His hands set in the air firmly as he gets into a stance, clutching the cloth, one hand at one end and same for the other. Like taming a buffalo.

Amber eyes locked onto the audience, shining brightly underneath the spotlight.

With one swift move, he ducks his hands, as if the giant creature rammed into the blanket he was holding. The hankerchief flies into the air and Hisoka runs to the side whilst doing an aerial flip, proceeding to let it fall back into his hands as his feet go down with a loud thus, just on the beat. It was a fierce, yet eye-catching move that actually intrigued Illumi. And the fact that his moves and expression went so well with the music compelled him to keep watching. It was... different from what he’d seen in others. Not a single bead of sweat traced this clown dancer’s forehead. His moves were swift and confident in motion. His actions coresponded so well to the music, and his timing was also praise worthy.

The tune of the music intensified, the redheaded dancer’s muscles seeming to tense slightly, like a man seeing the bull ready to charge once more. But it was brief, and his shoulders relaxed. And then, he struck another move, this time lifting his leg and moving around the stage in a graceful manner, hankerchief in hand. 

The story that Hisoka told during his performance was the story of a young buffalo tamer, looking to prove his worth to others. He was an orphan; a lone wolf who just wanted to be acknowledged by those around him. And he does this by taming one of the fiercest buffalo’s around. 

It was almost hypnotic, the way the other had danced. Not a word escaped Illumi’s lips, but he was rather impressed with this man. He was clearly on a higher level than any other dancer Illumi himself had encountered. 

Illumi suddenly felt the urge to want to dance with him. 

It was a curious yet foolish thought. This magician was still probably out if his league — in the good way, meaning that the dancer was probably still below his skillset.

When the sound of the guitar finally faded, loud applause erupted from the stands. Hisoka’s lips curled into a smile, before he bowed at the stage, a hand curving under his waist and his other extended straight, his legs crossing each other.

Illumi was next.

When Hisoka walked off, the two made eye contact. The ebony haired male did not say a word, and watched as the other gave him a wink. Illumi, somewhat surprised yet not phased by the other’s charm, averted his gaze. It was then when the host began to talk once more. “An incredible performance! Can our next contestant top that? Maybe, maybe not! As our next competitor is... the famous, the skilled, the graceful, Illumi Zoldyck!”

That was his cue to walk onto the stage. He strode confidently past Hisoka and made his way to the centre, gracefully sitting down and letting the outfit he was wearing puff out onto the ground. It was now his time to shine. 

Appearance like a Geisha girl, his performance would be based off of the beautiful women in Japan. He wore a green dress, cherry blossoms sprawled accross it. His hair was pulled up into a neat bun, a kanzashi going through it and appearing on the side. In one hand, he held a fan, his sleeves dangling extremely loosely.

His eyes closed.

He sat with good posture, and began to slowly sway when a soft yet melancholy sound filled his ears. A banjo, a strong beat, with the slight rustle of a tambourine. A heavenly voice emerged from the sounds to go along with the traditional Japanese music. The closed fan in hand, he gently stood up and gave the fan a soft clap against his hands with every other beat. He turned to one side, gracefully unfolding the fan and then swiftly wavering it in the air as his body swayed along with the music. 

Slowly, through his music, he told the story of a young woman who had fallen deeply in love with a man. But that man left her for another, so she stood there, broken and unable to continue. See, she held so much love for another, yet she held no love for herself. She had wasted all of her self-worth onto someone else, and what was left? A broken, empty, doll. His movements transitioned from cheery and bubbly to a profound sorrow which radiated across to the audience. The fan then moved to the front of his face, hiding it from the world as if ashamed of what he had become, though it was all part of the performance. And so the woman in the story, too pained with unrequited love, committed an act that was rather scandalous back then and even now — the act of killing oneself. 

During the performance, Illumi held eye contact with Hisoka from the stage, though it was only for a few moments. He could see... fascination in the other’s eyes. With one final action, he ended his performance by sinking to the floor and gazing up at the ceiling, a hand outstretched to the heavens above; like a woman yearning for a love who would never return to her.

And with that, the music faded, and the crowd roared with applause. Roses were thrown onto the stage and Illumi straightened himself up, bowing to the audience. He then proceeded to walk off the stage, his slender figure disappearing behind the curtains.

“What a stunning performance,” Suddenly said a voice to his left. Illumi turned his head to see a familiar looking clown. It was the dancer from earlier, Hisoka.

“You have my gratitude, Mr. Morow.” Illumi said, tone void of emotion. “I, too, enjoyed yours. It is not everyday I see someone worth watching.”

The other dancer looked momentarily surprised for a second — Illumi did not know why, but he disregarded it — and then proceeded to chuckle out loud. “Please, no need for such formality. Call me Hisoka, dear, and you flatter me too much.” Hisoka paused, toning down a bit, a broad smile still curving his lips. His voice was suave as he continued, “Really, there’s nothing I would expect more from the _great_ Illumi Zoldyck.”

The Geisha-like man did not like how Hisoka called him dear, but again, he decided to not comment on it. His flat face did not change as he spoke to Hisoka in an equally flat voice, “My title is just a title.”

“A title I’m sure you must maintain,” Hisoka said, a hand on his hip. “You Zoldycks are rather famous in the dancing industry. And I’m lucky enough to compete against one of them. Isn’t your brother here?”

“Yes,” Was Illumi’s monotonous reply. He stood in front of Hisoka almost stiffly, yet he wasn’t tense. “I do not believe he knows it is me.” 

“So I got to compete against two of them,” Hisoka murmured, looking rather satisfied. He exhaled from his nose, his eyes traveling down to Illumi’s outfit. “Dare I say it, I think the doll-like look suits you.”

“Thank you,” Illumi replied almost awkwardly, not sure how to feel at that, but he made himself answer at least civilly. He felt flattered yet somewhat disgusted at the other. He seemed flirtatious. “You look like a clown.”

Hisoka feigned a pout, putting a hand above his heart as mock hurt. “You wound me, Illumi. I’m a magician, not a clown.” The older male complained almost petulantly, but then his smile returned, voice lilting as he continued. “Though it was quite the pleasure to meet such a lovely dancer.” 

He extended his hand out to the other, and Illumi — though with an inward reluctance — did the same in return, putting his hand in Hisoka’s. With a grin, Hisoka leaned down, amber eyes never leaving his as red lips pressed against Illumi’s hand. His nose inevitably wrinkled up slightly, and Illumi could see amusement in the other's eyes. And with that, Hisoka took his leave. Illumi stared at the other’s back as he walked away. 

What a strange, strange man. He is rather intriguing, Illumi thought. But that was all, nothing more. Yes, this Hisoka character was quite interesting, but he would rather put his interest into something bigger than the clown-like man. Which was, of course, the competition. 

He watched as Killua, his younger brother, went. Killua looked... strange. His electric eyes were overcasted by his shock-white bangs. Killua, who’s movements were usually that of a cool tide, were rigid, his actions stiff and bland. Wrong move, Illumi thought with a frown. He shouldn’t have gone before the younger Zoldyck. Killua would lose many points, he could sense it. With a sigh, he averted his gaze as Killua finished and gave a rather ungracious bow at the audience, shivering. Killua must’ve figured that he was here. No wonder he was so shaken.

With a grim expression, the young Zoldyck walked off the stage. From the side of the stage, Illumi watched as Killua was greeted with a pat on the back from another boy who looked around his age. He was wearing a beautiful grass green outfit. Simple, yet somewhat endearing. He held a baton, red circles at the ends. He must be an amateur. Illumi could also sense that. 

Sooner or later, the winners were announced. Hisoka was placed first, Illumi was second, and that young boy from earlier with the baton — Gon, Illumi had learnt of his name — placed third. 

Killua had failed. The first Zoldyck to ever not win a medal. 

Illumi was rather concerned, and almost disappointed in his younger brother. But he would take the blame; after all, it was technically him who caused this, was it not? He and Killua didn’t have a very... _stable_ relationship. A sigh escaped his lips. He’d have to talk to father and mother about this later. He looked down at the silver medal dangling from his neck, wishing he had gotten gold instead.  He would need to train harder. And he’d have to discipline himself.

At least he had gotten a medal at all, though it was to be expected. 

He bowed with the other two as they were congratulated on the stage, noticing Hisoka had his eyes on the other younger male with him. Illumi immediately turned away, not wanting to watch any more of whatever Hisoka was thinking. That look on his face was already enough to let Illumi tell himself he didn’t need to see anymore.

As he walked off the stage and onto the back area, he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He turned his head, only to see the redheaded dancer. “Hisoka,” Illumi started as a greeting.

“I’m honoured. You remembered my name.” Hisoka replied, the mischievous grin still on his lips. Illumi’s eyes met his, and he could see a spark of passion in the depths of amber. 

“It is only natural I remembered,” Illumi responded. “Besides. We talked an hour or so ago, did we not?”

“Yes, we did,” Hisoka hummed contently. He put his free hand onto his hip, “It seems your brother didn’t make it. I assume he’s failed, hasn’t he? The first Zoldyck to —”

“That is none of your buisness,” Illumi cut him off, not wanting to hear Hisoka continue. His brother’s failure wasn’t something to discuss. He gave the other a look in the eye, one that held a warning. 

Instead of saying anything, Hisoka’s smile merely broadened. He looked like he was about to disembowel someone, yet a glint of mischievousness shown in his eyes. The magician shrugged, taking his hand off of Illumi’s shoulder. “Are you ready for the upcoming ballroom competition?” 

Of course, Illumi noticed the topic change, and it actually relieved him quite a bit. Hisoka must’ve noticed his shoulders relax a bit, because he let out a slight chuckle. Nevertheless, Illumi answered, “Yes.” 

“Well,” Hisoka started, “That must mean you have someone in mind that you’d like to dance with.”

No, Illumi had no partner.  “I do.”

At this moment, Illumi averted his gaze. He hadn’t found one yet, and his lies were slipping from his tongue. He wasn’t too much of a liar in general, but he only did so when he deemed he needed to. Hisoka arched an eyebrow at the other for a moment, as if trying to read him, before shrugging his broad shoulders casually. “You’ll have to see if they’re worthy, hm? I certainly don’t know if I’d be.”

The smaller man stayed silent, tilting his head at the other slightly. Hisoka took this opportunity to continue, casually looking at his nails. “Or maybe I could be. I don’t know. I’m shy.”

Illumi had a feeling he knew where this was headed, which actually made him feel somewhat unnerved. He looked back at the other, raising a brow. “Hisoka,” the male with darker hair said, “What is it that you are trying to imply?” He knew there was something. He just _knew_.

“It seems that you’ve caught me, my dear Illumi.” Hisoka’s lips curled further up his face. “I’ve been looking for someone to dance with, but all I’ve been getting is boring amateurs who just can’t seem to reach my level...” he trailed off, casting a look of feigned sadness. Illumi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“But anyways,” Hisoka continued, “Your performance charmed me.” He reached for his pocket, taking out a joker card, handing it to Illumi in between his middle and index finger with an almost devious smile. “Contact me sometime, will you?”

“...Sure.” Illumi replied after a while. 

Illumi promised himself he wasn’t going to ever contact Hisoka.


	2. Chapter 2

He reached for his phone almost reluctantly.

He was... going to contact Hisoka.

Over the past few months, he wasn’t successful in finding a ballroom partner. How unfortunate... he really hated that the clown was his last resort, but with desperate times came desperate measures. And so he believed that Hisoka was the only option left.

He sat in his apartment room’s couch with a frown placed onto his face. He proceeded to reach for a card on his table — the joker. And on that card were a set of numbers, presumably Hisoka’s contacts. Almost hesitantly, he opened his phone and began to add Hisoka into his contacts, punching in his number. He paused before sending any messages. Was he really going to do this?

There wasn’t any room for regret now.

‘ _Hisoka. It’s Illumi._ ’ He sent. He was about to place his phone aside, but a ding rung through his ears; much to his surprise, the redhead had replied almost immediately.

‘ _Oh? So the beautiful doll finally came to contact me. I’m honoured, Illu. <3_’

The said man made a face of disgust, wrinkling his nose indignantly. ‘ _Don’t call me that.’_ He sent back.

_‘Why not? I know you like it, anyways.’_

_‘I am going to block you.’_

_‘Is that a threat or a promise?’_

Illumi did not reply.

‘ _Oh, so you’re just going to leave me on read now? What happened to, ‘I’m blocking you’?’_

_‘Shut up.’_

_‘Don’t have to be so mean. Besides, weren’t you out of the two of us the person who texted first?_ ’

Illumi deadpanned at his screen, and his fingers tightened around his phone. When Illumi didn’t reply, Hisoka sent another text. ‘ _Anyways. Why did you contact me?’_

_‘I thought it was quite obvious.’_

_‘Well, too bad. It isn’t. ;)’_

God, Hisoka was seriously getting on his nerves. Even from a man he barely knew, Illumi had never felt so much irritation to one sole person. His eye twitched in irritation, but he ended up letting out a sigh.

_‘I swear, I will rip out your eye sockets one day.’_

_‘Don’t say that, Illu. You’re going to get me all excited!’_

_‘You are so weird. Your nature repulses me.’_

_‘But you’ll learn to love me anyways.’_ Was sent back by Hisoka alongside a kissy face emoticon.

‘ _Never_.’ Was Illumi’s reply.

‘ _We’ll see,_ ’ Hisoka sent back, and Illumi could tell Hisoka was probably smiling. Illumi was about to send back another text to get back on the topic, but Hisoka beat him to it. ‘ _So I assume you need a partner?’_

_‘Obviously.’_

_'I thought you said you had one.'_

_'That may or may not have been a lie just so that you would stop talking to me.'_

_‘Wow, Illu. I see how it is. But why me? Is it because you like me, Illumi? Did my dance really charm you that much? Or was it that kiss I gave you? If you’d like, I could give you another one.’_

_‘No. I dislike you. The very idea of having you as my partner makes me want to hurl. But I needed someone to dance with, so I went with my last resort. And never, ever kiss me again.’_

‘ _Illumi... you really do know how to hurt my feelings.’_ Hisoka sent, though Illumi could practically hear the mockery in the other’s words. _‘But I know that deep inside that little Zoldyck heart of yours, you love me.’_

_‘I really don’t.’_

_‘Whatever you say, Illu.’_

_‘Where do you live, by the way?_ ’

‘ _Oh? Why do you ask? Are you planning to drop by so that I could give you more kisses?’_

_‘I feel like you are asking me to murder you.’_

_‘Maybe I am.’_

A sigh. ‘ _No, I just need to know where so that we can start. I’m staying in Hotel Beitacle for the meanwhile.’_

 _‘Really? The place where I’m staying is rather near there. It must be fate trying to bring us together.’_ Hisoka sent, followed by a sparkle emoticon.

‘ _Fate must be wrong, then.’_

_‘Hm, I don’t think so.’_

_‘I have a place in mind where we can meet up. Unless you would like to go somewhere else.’_

_‘Do you know Brexton Café?’_

_‘Yes, I do. That was the place I was thinking of, actually.’_

_‘See! We are connected, Illu. It was meant to be.’_

_‘I believe fate wants me to stab you a thousand times. I’ll meet you there in ten or so.’_

_‘Okay,’_ Hisoka texted back with a kissy face.

Illumi put his phone in his pocket absently, ending their conversation at that. From what he had just experienced, he knew Hisoka would be quite the handful to deal with. But if that was what it took to win the ballroom competition, then he’d make sacrifices.

He got up, stretched, and straightened himself out. He looked down at his clothes, then proceeded to clean himself up a bit before leaving his room and out to the café.

* * *

Illumi waited.

And waited...

And _waited_.

Where was Hisoka? Hadn’t Illumi said ‘ten’ and not ‘thirty’? He was beginning to get extremely annoyed — Illumi only had so much patience, and it wore out quite a while ago. Punctuation was key. And the fact Hisoka was late — not by a few minutes, but by over _twenty_ — made him want to punch the clown in the face. He thinks this, yet his face is still. He looked at his phone and opened it, going straight to call Hisoka. Once the other picked up, the dancer asked, “Where _are_ you?”

“Right behind you,” Hisoka answered, his voice entering Illumi’s ears on both the phone and from his back. Illumi didn’t even have to turn around to know that the other male was grinning. He glanced at him, repeating his question. “Where _were_ you?”

“I was getting ready for our date, dear.” Hisoka replied cheekily. Illumi’s nose wrinkled up slightly. “This is not a date,” he said bluntly, hints of irritation in his tone. “This is business.”

“Whatever you say,” Hisoka shrugged as he joined the dark haired male, sitting with the other. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, “So, what do you have in mind?”

“Just wondering if you knew how the system worked this time around,” Illumi replied. Hisoka raised a brow at the male, amused, but not a word escaped his lips. Illumi turned his head to look at the other fully, raising an elegant brow. “Do you?”

Hisoka hummed thoughtfully for a few seconds, before shrugging. “Maybe, maybe not.”

“Well,” Illumi said, onyx meeting amber. “Regardless if you know or not, I’ll tell you anyways. We get a random genre of dance from the people who run the ballroom competition. They emailed it to me a while back.”

“Oh? And what genre did you get?”

“Bachata.”

Luckily for the two of them, they both sort of liked the genre and could adapt to it easily. It was actually rather fun to dance to it, although it required a lot of hip movement. 

“Okay, I’m good with that. Though I prefer Salsa.” Hisoka’s voice oozed out smoothly. He raised a brow at the other. “What’s the plan, Illu?”

“We will need a place to practice,” Illumi said. He thought about letting Hisoka come over to his apartment, but... yeah, no, wasn’t happening.

“How about we go to my place?” Hisoka offered, which relieved the Zolydck.

“Sure,” Illumi replied, not thinking much of it until he saw the look on Hisoka’s face. “Don’t get any ideas,” he added.

The magician smiled as Illumi got up, and Hisoka did the same, following the other to his apartment — a fifteen minute walk away from the place they were in. Once there, Hisoka walked into his humble abode, Illumi following after him. It was a rather casual and average space, except for the fact that Hisoka’s apartment had a pink theme to it.

A large clearing was in the middle of the room, a hole in the middle of it. Illumi wondered what it was for. The area wasn’t extremely big, but it wasn’t small either.

“There,” Hisoka said, pointing to the middle of the floor where Illumi was looking. “Is where we will be practicing.” Humming, the magician walked towards the middle of the floor, hands on his hips as he stood there. “Do you know what song will be played?”

“Yes. I picked it earlier this week.” The other replied.

“Quite the team effort there.”

“Quiet, Hisoka. Just be grateful I even did it for us.”

“Mm, I could’ve lent you a hand,” The magician said idly, looking at Illumi. The man with onyx eyes replied with, “I don’t think that would’ve helped. If anything, I believe that would have only slowed us down and wasted our time.”

Hisoka let out a sigh, grinning. “You really do know how to break my heart.”

Illumi did not reply. Instead, he took out his phone and searched up the song he had chosen, pressing it to let it play. It had a catchy beat, and Hisoka actually kind of liked it.

“What song is this?” The redhead asked.

“Does it matter?” Illumi asked, tilting his head a bit at the other. Hisoka chuckled, “And would it hurt to answer the question?”

He averted his gaze, staying quiet for a little bit. After a moment, he finally answered, “Eres Mia.”

Hisoka smiled, “How did I not recognize it sooner? This song’s nice.”

“As someone who comes off as a person who embraces Latin music, you should have recognized this song right away. I’m disappointed.”

“Stop being mean,” Hisoka complained playfully, his feet subconsciously beginning to tap to the music. He matched the pace of the music, and he began hum it, the sound low, coming from the back of his throat. After listening to a few more seconds of the song, he asked, “Any moves in mind?”

Illumi, admittedly, had a few. But this song was rather... romantic. A song two lovers would dance to — and the pair were _definitely_ _not_ lovers. He wasn’t comfortable with the moves in his head, as both Illumi and Hisoka barely knew each other. So it would be strange to perform such actions as strangers. But he originally picked the song because he thought it was perfect for Bachata.

“This is...”

Illumi’s eyes flickered up at Hisoka, only to see the other licking his lips with a broad grin. Oh, how he did not want to dance such moves with a man like that. It was simply unacceptable. He let out a sigh. He knew Hisoka was waiting for an answer, but he really didn’t want to reply. It was rather unfortunate, the fact that this had to be—

“A lover’s song,” The words escaped Illumi’s lips before he realized it. Amber eyes set upon him, a teasing tone to it. “So you’ve noticed, Illu, dear.”

The ebony-haired dancer could have scowled at that, but he didn’t, simply averting his gaze. “I don’t have any ideas right now,”he said, though it was a half-lie. Hisoka hummed, “Mm, really now? A great dancer such as you can’t think of any? I thought you were considered a prodigy.”

“Quiet,” Illumi said, voice monotonous but eyes filled with warning as he looked up again. The two’s eyes met, and it stayed that way for a moment, a silent message going through the both of them as Hisoka’s eyes glinted in offering. When onyx eyes continued to burn into the other’s, Illumi had agreed. Then, the Zoldyck approached the other; slowly, but surely. His nearing was hesitant — he was going into predatorial boundaries. Hisoka put his hands on Illumi’s hips, foot still tapping absently, and silky, dark hair began to sway as it’s owner did the same to his hips.

“Guess we’ll have to find some then, hm?” Hisoka purred into Illumi’s ear, “Together.”

The younger male did not say a word. Really, he’d rather find the moves on his own. He should refuse. He should avoid this. But his body betrayed his mind, and their subtle movements would soon turn into dancing as the moves came to them in a natural manner, their bodies moving on their own. Illumi’s hands made their way to Hisoka’s shoulder, and Hisoka’s up to the other’s waist. Hisoka moved forward, Illumi moved back, their hips moving to the beat almost in synch, their feet doing so as well as they gracefully began to glide across the floor.

Hisoka guided Illumi’s hand up, and by instinct, the male followed, turning under Hisoka’s hand, his foot tipping onto the ground at a beat, his hips perking upwards.

Not a word was exchanged between the two, and the moves seemed to come out of nowhere, but if someone had seen them, they’d think that the pair were partners for years before this moment. Illumi moved forward, Hisoka continuing to guide his hand. It was so strange, how Illumi could feel so...

...Connected?

No. That was not right. There was no connection. It was nonexistent. Of course, Illumi was just impressed by Hisoka. Yes. That was all. That was it.

... _Impressed_.

A frown immediately etched its way to his lips. Illumi stopped dancing, and Hisoka noticed the pause a moment after. “Why’d you stop?” He asked. Illumi didn’t meet the other’s eyes. He could feel a vibrant amber on him.

“I...” Illumi started, trying to choose his words. “Just need to think. These moves are... alright, I suppose.”

“Not good enough for you?” Hisoka said, grinning. “I figured so.”

“I just said,” Illumi repeated flatly, “That they were fine.”

“Whatever you say, Illu.”

The younger dancer let out a sigh. This was... somewhat awkward. Well, it felt that way for Illumi, at least. He pondered to himself for a while, and Hisoka watched him silently with a small smile. “I might write some down later,” Illumi finally said, checking his watch. “I realize I have some matters to attend.”

“Awe, already?” Hisoka mock pouted, knowing that meant Illumi had to go. The other male did not reply. Grabbing his phone, Illumi’s hair swayed around as he began to head for the door, Hisoka watching him. “A pity.” Said the other.

Just as the Zoldyck’s foot stepped out the room, Illumi heard, “Illu, would you like to join me tonight for dinner?”

The other took a while to respond. A dinner? Perhaps he could go. But only for the sake of discussing more; for business. He did not look back at Hisoka when he replied with, “...I suppose.” To this, The magician grinned widely.

“Okay!” He said, clapping two hands together.

And so, Illumi took his leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling errors! And I apologize if they are OOC.  
> This fanfic takes place in YorkNew City.  
> I do not upload regularly, but I will try my best! Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up: yes, this fanfic is in Illumi’s point of view. I just have that kind of writing style, where I do it from third person.  
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! <3  
> Make sure to leave a review, I’d appreciate it!

At night, Illumi was getting ready to join Hisoka for a nice dinner at a nearby restaurant. He wore casual attire — a nice, dark purple turtle-neck alongside jeans. The colour of his turtle-neck reminded him of bruises. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and the dancer took it out to check the notification he had received.

‘ _See you soon, Illu,_ ’ Hisoka had sent him with a kissy face and a heart. ‘ _I reserved a seat for us, by the way.’_

‘ _Okay_ ,’ Illumi sent back. He sincerely hoped that this restaurant they were to go to was at least luxurious, or somewhat expensive. If it wasn’t, then he’d rather not go; plebeians have... food that Illumi wasn’t used to. He could eat it, but he’d honestly rather not. Hisoka better not pull one of those on him. Ever. If they were to have more meetings like this in restaurants they at least better be good restaurants.

He grabbed his keys and left his apartment room, taking a bus to the restaurant he and Hisoka were to meet at. Almost gracefully, he stepped off of it once he arrived at one of the stops and made his way to the place they were to have dinner at. Opening the front door, he made his way to the inside and asked the front desk, “Is there a reserved table for two for Hisoka Morow?”

The girl at the front desk looked at her list, tracing her finger on it. “Morow... Morow... ah!” She said finally, stopping. “Yes, there is. Follow me.”

He obliged and did just as she asked. There, he saw a familiar looking clown, his outrageous red hair noticeable from a mile away. “Illu!” Hisoka sing-songed out loud as soon as he had noticed Illumi’s presence, giving the ebony-haired dancer a smile alongside closed eyes. “You made it.”

Hisoka’s hair had been set down, cranberry bangs almost covering those bright eyes of his if he hadn’t swept them aside. He looked so different, and he wasn’t wearing any makeup, either. He somehow looked attractive, actually. Illumi hadn’t thought of him that way before, but in a platonic sense, it was only just an observation. He still had those high, cheek bones, but they were less accentuated due to the lack of makeup. Along that came a fine jawline, and a smirk curving his lips. He looked more natural, more human, a little more mute. Every aspect of his face complimented on another. The makeup he usually wore didn’t cover this up at all, no, but it sort of made his features a bit less tantalizing.

“Hisoka,” Illumi said as a greeting. “At first, I didn’t realize it was you.”

“I get that a lot,” Hisoka drawled, tapping the table absently with his long fingernails, and Illumi observed that they were newly manicured.

“Wait,” Illumi said, “Why are you so early?”

Hisoka let out a gap in mock offense. “How dare you, Illu! Are you trying to imply that you thought I’d be late?”

“Yes.”

An amused sigh. “Blunt as always, I see. Though I do quite admire that quality about you. And, to answer your question — I was just so excited for our little date that I just had to come early.”

The Zoldyck’s gaze hardened. “This is not a date.”

“Are you sure?” Hisoka raised a brow at him, smirking. To this, the other replied with, “Very. It is simply a, platonic dinner for two associates. Business.”

Another sigh escaped the clown’s lips, but he didn’t lose his smile. “Our dates don’t have to be platonic, you know.”

“They are and always will be.”

“You just admitted that we go on dates,” Hisoka remarked, and Illumi gave him an icy look. The redhead chuckled. “Why give me the cold glare when it was you who said it?”

Hisoka and his little tricks and traps. He knew Illumi would fall into answering in a way Hisoka wanted him to, and either way, he’d be as irritated as he was now. Acting indifferent would prove Hisoka won out of the two of them, and Illumi would rather not give he other the satisfaction he wanted. But now was one of those times where he needed to decide not to reply, seeing a waiter approach them. He kept his mouth shut, simply glaring harder at the older male before turning towards the person who was to give them their meals.

“Good evening! What drinks would you two like today?” The waiter asked them.

Hisoka hummed thoughtfully for a moment or two, before he set his golden eyes onto the other. “I’d like some wine, please.”

“Just water for me,” Illumi said afterwards, watching the waiter jot this down. For a brief moment, the waiter looked up at Illumi and blinked, as if surprised. Illumi was slightly confused; it was just a glass of water, did he say something wrong? But now that he thought about it, this waiter’s reaction was similar to that of Hisoka’s when Illumi had first spoken to him.

“Is something wrong?” He asked the waiter. The man seemed unable to reply for a second or so before smiling. “No, I apologize,” he said, putting his pen back into his little shirt pocket. “I’ll be off.”

And with that, he turned his heel and left. Golden eyes stared at the waiter’s back as he walked away. “Hm,” Hisoka couldn’t help but smile. “He’s rather strange.”

Illumi didn’t comment on that, instead staring at the menu, eyes skimming through the options of food. It seemed that the prices were high. Hisoka hummed before saying, “Illu, did I ever tell you how nice you look today?”

“No,” the Zoldyck answered, glancing at the other. “But now you have.”

The magician let out a low chuckle, “And now you know.”

After a short while, the waiter came back with a notebook in hand. “You guys ready to order?” To this, Hisoka nodded.

“Hm,” He thought for a moment, as he put a finger on his chin, in thought. Amber eyes sparkling vibrantly in the dim lights, they were then set upon the waiter, though his eyes trailed down to the man’s chest. “I’d like the spaghetti. Extra parmesan.”

“Okay,” The waiter quickly jotted that down, though he looked slightly uncomfortable. He then proceeded to turn to the younger male. “And you, sir?”

Illumi stared up at the waiter, beady, black orbs on him. He blinked, before looking at Hisoka. “I’ll have the same thing.”

The waiter wrote that down, then giving them both a small smile as he picked up their menus before walking back. Illumi could see amusement in Hisoka’s eyes, and a certain grin that was all too familiar. Illumi tilted his head slightly. “What?”

“Nothing,” The magician said, waving a hand. “I just thought it was cute of you to get the same thing as I did.”

Illumi did not reply. Onyx eyes landed onto the other, and this was the first time Illumi had even noticed what he was wearing. It was casual; a light and collared cherry pink shirt, alongside dark and baggy sweatpants. He wore a pink beanie to go along with it, his nails also a hot pink. He almost looked like a strawberry.

Illumi figured that pink must be his favourite colour.

“Illumi,” Hisoka interuppted his thoughts, smugness visible in his tone. “You’re staring. Am I just that handsome?”

Shit.

“Oh,” the Zoldyck blinked, slightly tilting his head to the side. “No, it’s not because you’re handsome.”

“You didn’t deny that I was handsome, though.” The magician added cheekily.

“But I never said you were.”

“Alright then. So tell me, Illu — do you find me handsome?”

Illumi’s eyes trailed up and down Hisoka, studying his features that he had already looked at once. The magician was looking at him expectantly, so Illumi finally answered after a while. “In some terms, maybe. But in general, no. I do not find you very handsome.”

“Oh,” Hisoka dragged the vowel, though he sounded like he was mocking the other, unconvinced, but his smile remained. “I see.” Leaning back into his chair, he asked, “Then what were you thinking of, hm?”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“Mm, I’m sure it’s not.”

Illumi sighed to himself, meeting eyes with the other male as he let the silence consume them. Illumi wasn’t too much of a conversation starter, but once in a while, he did so if he needed to. He was curious on a certain matter, so he decided to ask Hisoka his question. “Hisoka,” he started, “Where did you learn to dance?”

“Hm...” Hisoka thinks for a moment. “My mother was quite the dancer. While she was alive she taught me some stuff. And then...” He paused for a second, and Illumi didn’t know why. The other was clearly thinking; maybe there was another person? Another event that led to him to become a dancer? He wondered where this man had learned his tricks, his sways, his extravagant style. Then, Hisoka suddenly shook his head, waving his hand idly in the air as if erasing a thought. He then put his hand onto his glass of wine. For a split second of a moment, Illumi saw something in Hisoka’s eyes; he just disn’t know what it was. “Anyways, why do you ask?”

“Curious,” is what Illumi replied with. “I was just wondering where you learned how to move so... swiftly. I have never seen someone other than my family move so fluently.”

“Awe, Illu,” The older man teased, “Are you trying to say that I’m a good dancer?”

“I never said that,” Illumi told him. To this, Hisoka replied with, “I know that’s what you were trying to imply.”

“You must be wrong, then.”

“You’re always so mean to me.”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

“You must be one of the biggest liars I’ve ever met.”

“Apart from yourself?”

“Maybe.”

A moment later, the waiter came back with their food, hot and ready on a platter. Hisoka put two hands together excitedly as the food was placed in front of him. He grabbed his utensils, and Illumi did the same, picking them up gracefully when his spaghetti was set in front of him.

“Bon apétit, Illu.” Hisoka told the other with a smile, and he dug in.

* * *

After the rather nice meal they had, Illumi and Hisoka made their way outside the restaurant. It had been the magician’s treat, though it would have been either way, as Illumi hadn’t planned on paying. The waiter from earlier had been a fan of both he and Hisoka’s; an aspiring dancer. Illumi figured that’s why he looked at him earlier like that. The waiter had — although rather shyly — asked for their autographs, and it seemed Hisoka was happy to. Illumi gave his as well, though he didn’t look as elated as the other. They stood outside, facing the streets of the city on the sidewalk.

“So, my dear Illumi,” Hisoka started, “When will we meet again?”

“When are you free?” Was the said man’s reply.

“Whenever, unless I have something coming up. And there’s nothing too important that’s going to happen soon.” Hisoka responded with a shrug.

“I see. Tomorrow, then.”

“Mine?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” A grin tugged at Hisoka’s lips. “I’ll see you then, doll.”

Illumi ignored the nickname as he watched Hisoka walk off into the opposite direction. The way he walked was like stepping to the beat of an invisible spanish beat; like during the solo competitions, which was a month or so ago. The Zoldyck made his way to the bus stop and boarded it, putting in his payment for the ride. He sat down on one of the nearby seats, thinking about today. Seeing Hisoka with his hair down was really different, though it was only the second time he’d seen te dancer in person — how much hair gel did he even use?

Illumi brushed the thought away, and focused more on what they needed to focus on; their dance routine. The Zoldyck figured they needed some different steps for this dance. The ballroom competitions were still a few months away, so they had ample time to get something together. The moves from earlier were average at best, but Illumi needed something more.

There was something missing.

He ignored it as well, pushing it to the back of his mind. All that mattered was their little dance right now, and the moves they would need to find that were good enough to make Illumi feel satisfied. The bus stopped at a station near his apartment, and he got off accordingly, the evening breeze flowing through his dark hair. He approached Hotel Beitacle and made his way to his apartment room.

Stopping in front of the door, he put his key in and stepped inside, basking in the silence of his humble abode. It was a simple place, and there was nothing special about it, really. It wasn’t as luxurious as his home, but it was a decent place to stay in for now. He sat down onto his couch and opened up his phone, seeing a text from Hisoka.

‘ _Sleep well, doll_.’ It said, alongside a sparkly heart. Illumi swiped past it, not knowing whether he’d ever reply to it. He unlocked his phone, proceeding to call his father, waiting until he picked up.

After a heartbeat, Silva finally answered.

“Illumi,” the older Zoldyck greeted his son im a frigid manner, “What is it?”

“About Kil,” Illumi started, as equally frigid as the other male. “Have you heard?”

“Yes, I have. He didn’t make it?”

“No.”

A sigh was heard from the other side of the phone. Illumi envisioned his father rubbing his temples. “He’ll need more training.”

“I agree,” Illumi replied, “But I believe it was partially my fault.”

“How so?”

“He saw me. You know how he is with me.”

“I see. I trust that you don’t let yourself be seen the next time around?”

“Yes.”

“Illumi... don’t worry too much about Killua.”

“It is my duty as his older brother to worry about him,” the dancer said, “So I’m planning to ask that he go first during the ballroom competitions.”

“I see. Alright, is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.”

And with that, the call ended as Silva hung up.Illumi let out a sigh as he then layed down onto the couch, dark hair spreading out onto it. He clutched the phone in his hand, letting it rest on his stomach. Today was rather interesting; really, he could have some fun with this. He closed his eyes for a little bit, thinking of the rather eventful day he had. At least he found a partner, one that he hoped wouldn’t disappoint him or quit. Hisoka didn’t look like he’d quit anytime soon, though, so at least that was something. His eyes fluttered open, and before he realized it, he had brought his phone up to his face. He stared at his screen for a good minute or so, before he decided to finally text Hisoka a little message back.

‘ _Goodnight_.’

He then closed his phone and got up, heading to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Illumi had just finished a small assignment he had gotten from his father. Illumi did some part time dancing at times, or performed in front of people who just needed to be entertained for the money. He had just finished dancing for a famous businessman who was away from home and just wanted something to keep him busy for a while, so he had hired Illumi to dance for him. Illumi wore a peacock suit, it’s feathers waving through the air as he walked. The Zoldyck felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and he pulled it out. 

‘ _Want to stop by and get a drink? I’m downtown._ ’ Hisoka had sent him. 

Downtown? Illumi wondered what Hisoka was doing there. But he didn’t question it too much. ‘ _Sure_ ,’ The younger male sent back.

‘ _I’m in a bar called L’amour.’_

_‘Okay. See you there.’_

Illumi closed his phone as the man he had danced for handed him the payment. The Zoldyck took it, and then got ready by changing his outfit to something more casual, making his way out the building and to the nearest bus stop. It was nice out today; it was around three in the afternoon, and the temperature was warm. Illumi felt a small breeze brush his fingers.

Once downtown, he looked for the bar Hisoka had mentioned. And when he found it, he entered it, only to see a familiar looking clown sitting down at the front by himself. He had his head rested on his hand, his elbow placed on the table as he smiled underneath the dim lights. This time, his hair was up and slicked back. Hisoka must have heard someone enter, as he turned his head. His face immediately brightened. “Illu,” he greeted. Illumi sat beside him, glancing up at him as he sat with straight posture.

“I waited for you,” Hisoka drawled, smiling.

“I just came back from work.” Illumi told the other casually. Hisoka hummed, “You have work?”

“Yes,” Illumi replied, looking in front of him. “Just small, part-time jobs though.”

“I see,” The magician said, looking forwards as well, searching for the bartender. Once he found him, he raised his hand, and the bartender came to him. 

“A whiskey please,” Hisoka said, and then he turned to Illumi. “What would you like, Illu?” 

“Same thing as you.” 

The redhead snorted. “You always order the same thing as me.” Turning back to the bartender, he continued, “Same for my friend.

Illumi stared at the other as the bartender went off to fetch their drinks. What a silly thought; friends? “We are not friends.

“Oh?” Hisoka asked, suddenly amused and seemingly intrigued by Illumi’s response. “What are we then?”

“Associates,” was Illumi’s simple answer. 

A sound of amusement came from the magician’s lips, and the bartender came back with their drinks. “Really now?”

“Yes. We simply work together. That’s all.”

“Hm,” Hisoka hummed, grabbing his whiskey and taking a small sip of it. “How interesting.”

He didn’t say a word after that, and Illumi felt as if he’d done something wrong. But he chose not to adress it, and went straight to changing the topic. “I wrote down some of the moves we did, and added some improvisations.”

The redhead glanced at him, waiting for him to pull out the sheet he had written it on. When the Zoldyck didn’t do anything, he asked, “Well? Where’s the paper?”

“I memorized it.” Was Illumi’s response.

“Ah,” Hisoka said, swirling the drink in his cup. “Alright, then. What do we have?”

Illumi took his cup of whiskey as well as he briefly explained to Hisoka what he had in mind. He then put a hand to his hair, letting his fingers comb through it as he watched the older man protrude his lip.

“Not bad,” Hisoka commented once Illumi finish explaining. “How about at the end, you fall into my arms?”

Illumi deadpanned. “No. A spin.”

“A spin? That’s rather dramatic.”

“Says the one.”

“It adds flair, though.”

“Yes, but I don’t find it proper.”

Proper for people like us, Illumi inwardly thought.

Hisoka put his drink down, arching a brow as amber eyes burned into Illumi’s. “I say you fall into my arms.”

“And I say,” Illumi said, not missing a beat as he placed his drink down as well. “A spin.”

They narrowed their eyes at each other, a deep amber fighting against a dark void. They stared at each other for what seemed like decades. Centuries.

Illumi could see Hisoka’s eyes begin to water, and he could finally see the corner of the other’s mouth twitch. Hisoka let out a lengthy sigh. “Fine. A spin it is.”

The Zoldyck finally brightened, the corners of his mouth curling up just by the slightest bit. “Thank you.”

Hisoka stared at him for a while, and Illumi’s sliver of a smile disappeared. “What?” He asked, tilting his head. The magician took another sip of gis glass before speaking, “Just disappointed. I wanted you to fall into my arms.”

Illumi’s eyebrow twitched, and he opened his mouth to speak, but Hisoka continued. “And because I’ve never seen you smile before. Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful your smile is, Illu?”

Amber eyes upon him, the Zoldyck wrinkled his nose. A sudden grin spread across Hisoka’s face. “Just one after another. I’m in love with it.”

Illumi raised an elegant brow. “What?” 

The magician just hummed, “Nothing, nothing at all.”

The Zoldyck’s fingers tightened around his glass, but it was brief. He despised how Hisoka did that. He commented and remarked, yet he never explained why. It was quite irritating. He took another sip from his cup. “Anyways. So you agree with the dance routine?”

“Yeah,” Hisoka sighed contently. “Except for the last part, but if you insist, we’ll keep it that way.”

“We just need to practice.”

“When?”

“Whenever you are free.”

Both Hisoka and Illumi’s glasses were now empty as they both took down whatever was left in them. While Hisoka came out unscathed, Illumi’s cheeks were a tinge of faint blossom. 

“Lovely,” the magician said while setting his gaze upon the other. “You’re blushing, Illu.”

“I am doing no such thing,” the younger male denied, though he knew his cheeks were heated up. He averted his gaze, “Besides, it is the alcohol.”

“Are you prone to getting drunk easily?”

“I don’t know. I don’t drink very often.”

“No wonder,” Hisoka said, letting out a low chuckle. 

“Did you know,” Illumi started suddenly, about to tell the other something when Hisoka replied with, “No, I did not,” before Illumi was even able to continue. The younger male gave Hisoka a glare, as he was smiling so cheekily that it irritated him. “Don’t stop,” Hisoka urged him, “Continue.”

“As I was _saying_ ,” The Zoldyck continued almost curtly, going on. “Did you know that the plebeians here have the most repulsive tastes when it comes to fashion?”

“No, I did not,” Hisoka repeated, intrigued as he leaned into the other. “Explain?”

“The person I just worked for,” Illumi said, eyeing his glass, “Let me wear a peacock outfit.”

Hisoka's eyes slightly widened before he put a hand over his mouth, muffling a laugh that was sure to escape his lips. Illumi looked at him, tilting his head slightly. “Why are you laughing?”

“I just find that thought quite amusing,” Hisoka told him with a grin. “You should have sent me a picture.”

“That would never happen,” Illumi said.

“Maybe one day, I’ll get to see you in all of your peacock glory.”

“Shut up.”

Hisoka laughed. 

Illumi reached for his pocket to take out his wallet, placing a bill on the table. “I’m paying for that round, since you payed last time.”

“How generous of you, Illu.” The magician said, meeting the other’s eyes. He slightl tilted his head, as if asking, ‘ _are we done here?_ ’. Illumi nodded, and Hisoka smiled, getting up and stretching. The Zoldyck got up from his seat as well, saying, “Let’s go.”

And so, the two walked out the door of the bar together. The wind blew through Illumi’s dark locks, slapping and tickling Hisoka — who was behind him — in the face. The redhead began to laugh, pulling the hairs off of him. Illumi, oblivious to the entire thing, turned around. “What is it?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Hisoka lied, words slipping out naturally. “Do you use Pantene, Illu?”

Illumi gave him something akin to a glare, a incredulous look mixed with disgust somewhere in the depths of his void-like eyes. How rude of Hisoka; he used a much more expensive brand than something like Pantene, though his shampoo and conditioner did smell like it... somewhat. “Of course not. Why?”

”Your hair smells like a minty, green tea. I like it.”

”Did you... _sniff_ my hair?” 

“Maybe.” Hisoka grinned mischievously, and Illumi didn’t know whether to feel disgusted or indifferent. Instead, he whipped his head around — because he knew his hair would hit Hisoka in the face — and continued to walk forwards. Hisoka stood there and blinked rapidly for a second or so, before smiling. 

“Illu,” Hisoka started, a certain look in those vibrant eyes of his. “You can _always_ whip me like that. It doesn’t have to be in the face.” His lips curled up deviously.

Illumi suddenly whiplashed his hair in Hisoka’s face again — this time, it was harder. A lewd sound escaped the magician’s lips, and Illumi immediately regretted it. “You honestly disgust me, Hisoka.” Illumi scowled. The redhead smiled, “But you love me anyways.”

“No.” 

“Illu... don’t leave me here with an erection...”

The Zoldyck left him there. 

He heard the older male groan and let out a whine in disappointment.

It was sundown, the warm ball of fire slowly setting itself to sleep as it waited for it’s counterpart to rise. The bar they had gone to was downtown, and some of the bridges that crossed the river were there. The pair found themselves going to the edges of YorkNew city, where water resided as it’s bridges connected to other parts. They were rather far away from Hotel Beitacle — Illumi could see it from the distance as he stood.

“Where are we?” Hisoka asked curiously, looking around. Illumi replied, “At the edge of the city."

“Why?” The magician continued. The younger male glanced at him, “I was trying to avoid you. I didn’t know you’d actually follow me up until now. You have an impressive amount of stamina.”

“ _Wow_ , Illu,” Hisoka dragged the vowel in the 'wow', crossing his arms. “I see how it is. But thank you.”

“Are you tired?”

“Awe, do you care?”

“For research purposes, yes.”

“So you _do_. How sweet of you, Illu.”

“No. On a personal level, I don’t. I really don’t care. But I need to know for my study.”

“Your study?”

“Yes, my study.” Illumi tilted his head at the other, “Now answer my question.”

A sigh escaped the magician’s lips. “No, I’m not tired at all. There, happy?”

“Yes.” Illumi said. Impressive, he thought. It was good of him to choose a partner with high stamina, and what he had just done was a test in doing so. That would be one of their factors to success. He’d walked quite a few miles and not even a bead of sweat trailed down Hisoka’s forehead. He smiled to himself, though only in his head; this would guarantee that they’d win. Not only was Hisoka agile and proficient in hip movement, with good posture and precision, he also had a fair amount of stamina to go along with it. He was simply the perfect partner.

Did Illumi just think of Hisoka as perfect? How amusing. The Zoldyck shook his head — a perfect partner, yes, in dancing terms. But other than that, he had many flaws.

Many.

He had only known Hisoka for a few weeks now, but he’d noticed a lot of flaws about the man. One of them was—

“Earth to Illu,” Hisoka waved his hands vigorously over the younger male’s face. Illumi blinked, “Oh.”

“Finally,” the magician said. “You were standing there for a good three or so minutes, just staring. What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing important.”

“Oh, c’mon. Stop being so secretive! We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Beady, dark orbs were placed upon the redhead. “Again, we are _not_ friends. And I was thinking about you.”

“Me?” Hisoka gasped in surprise. “As I said,” Illumi continued, “Nothing important.”

“Ouch,” the other male said, but he was grinning. “How interesting, for you to be thinking about me. What _about_ me, Illu? What part of me were you thinking of?”

“Nothing I’d ever find appealing,” the Zoldyck answered, and Hisoka pouted.

Illumi averted his gaze, not bothering to make any further comments. His eyes shifted to the ocean in front of him, it’s features being highlighted by the sunset. It was a lovely sight, he’d admit that. There was a small ledge in front of them, and Illumi leaned over it, shoulders placed upon it as he gazed out towards the sunset. Hisoka did the same. 

The wind carried elegant, ebony locks in its embrace, swirling around and letting it flow in the air. The colours of yellow, orange, and red, danced in the sky as they clashed with hues of magenta and a navy blue, the skies darkening alongside it by the minute. 

“What a magnificent sight,” Hisoka murmured to Illumi’s left. The Zoldyck exhaled; a small, sigh of content. He felt a pair of eyes upon him, and turned to see a set of bright, amber eyes, its owner leaning into Illumi and gazing at him, almost in awe. Hisoka was leaning his head against his hand, one elbow resting on the ledge; like the position he’d been in earlier at the bar. 

How long had Hisoka been staring at him? 

“Hisoka,” Illumi asked, “What are you doing?”

“Admiring the view, darling.” Was Hisoka’s reply. The younger male blinked, not sure how to respond at that. 

“Then I suggest you look forwards,” he finally said after a while, still feeling Hisoka’s gaze upon him. 

“But what I’m looking at is much better,” The other male said, leaning further into his hand to get a better look at the Zoldyck. Illumi felt an unfamiliar beat in his chest. He despised it right away, yet he loved it.

Illumi raised an elegant brow at him, eyeing him carefully. “And what I’m looking at right now is certainly inferior to the other view in front of me.”

Hisoka sighed, turning back to the sunset with his usual smirk. “How rude.”

“Only the truth,” continued Illumi, and he, too, shifted his gaze back to where Hisoka had. The too stared at the beautiful scenery, the breeze flowing through their hair every now and then. What was this feeling in Illumi’s chest? He didn’t know what to do with it. This was the first time he’d ever done something like this with someone; it was so simple, yet he found himself appreciating it. He appreciated both the view and the company, though he would never say that out loud. Something in his eyes softened. If he could only have moments like these with his brothers.

He let out a sigh; it was a weary, content, yet somewhat bitter exhale. Not a word was exchanged between the two, and they basked in whatever sunlight was left as the stars came out to play.

“Hey, Illu,” Hisoka broke their silence, “Can you show me what the spin would look like?”

“Hm? Oh,” Illumi said, turning to look at the other. “Sure.”

The younger male approached the magician, and Hisoka took a step back from the ledge to make room for the other. Illumi and Hisoka were face to face. Illumi put his hand on the older male’s rather built forearm, and Hisoka put his hand on Illumi’s back. The Zoldyck’s hands slid down Hisoka’s arm and into his hand, clasping it. The magician did the same, except with their other hand. Then, Illumi stepped into the small egg-meter that Hisoka was directing, turning him in. Now, Hisoka’s arms were wrapped around him, holding his hands. This position was nice, as Illumi felt his back against Hisoka’s chest. They both faced the sunset, and Illumi felt the redhead’s hot breath against his neck amidst the cool air. He shivered. 

Illumi wanted to stay like this for as long as he could. He hated this. He hated Hisoka for making him _feel_. This feeling, these emotions...

...Were all because of the alcohol, weren’t they? Yes, Illumi thought. He blamed the alcohol.

Illumi let go with one of his hands, and he turned with it, unfolding from Hisoka’s embrace and out onto the rather beautiful scenery in front of them once more. The magician’s hand moved behind his back, his other hand still cupping Illumi’s. They glanced at each other, before bowing in sync.

The Zoldyck put his head back up, a dark void meeting the sun, which was now just peeking from the mountains outside of YorkNew City. They were rather far from where they had originally been, and Illumi was starting to feel weary.

“That was good,” Hisoka murmured, looking at the other male. Illumi tilted his head, “See, I told you.”

“But,” Hisoka said right after, crossing his arms, his lips curling into a smile. “I would have preferred what I suggested.”

Illumi gave him a look, pursing his lips while doing so. Hand it to Hisoka for ruining the moment. Illumi let out a lengthy sigh, turned his heel, and began to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Hisoka pouted, “Don’t tell me you’re going to leave me, Illu.”

“I’m going back to the hotel,” the Zoldyck stated bluntly, “So, yes, I am leaving you.”

“Noooo,” Hisoka dragged out the vowel in a pteulant tone, sagging a little bit from where he stood. Illumi didn’t look back once; he just kept walking away. Soon, the magician followed after him, one hand on his hip as he casually swung the other. 

“Do you plan on following me?” Illumi asked, glancing back. The magician smiled, “No, I plan on walking you home.”

The younger male deadpanned. “So you’ll follow me.”

When Hisoka did nothing but hum in response, Illumi took that as a yes. Not that he minded — he’d just rather not. But he had to admit, company was nice once in a while, although he had just literally spent the whole of his evening with the clown. 

But Hisoka had done exactly what he promised he would, and he walked with Illumi all the way back to his apartment. By the time they got back, it was already dark out, and the two had parted ways. As soon as Illumi stepped into his room, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out to check it. 

‘ _Goodnight to my best friend, Illumi <3_’ Hisoka had texted.

Illumi narrowed his eyes at his phone, before sending back his reply. 

‘ _We are not friends. Goodnight, fellow associate_.’

The Zoldyck could practically feel Hisoka’s laughter through his phone screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Make sure to leave a review.  
> Love you all! Thank you so much for reading.  
> Again; sorry if there are any grammatical/spelling errors, or if the characters are OOC. I try my hardest...


	5. Chapter 5

The next few months would be rather nice; Hisoka and Illumi would visit each other from time to time for practices and such, though most of their ‘practicing’ was them going out and just spending time together, though it never occurred to Illumi that they could be anything more than platonic. Every time they had something that could be considered a moment, Illumi simply brushed it off as something the two did for the purpose of work. But even then, it seemed to feel like a lie. Nevertheless, he continued on with his associate, Hisoka.

They had kept the ending of their dance, despite Hisoka and Illumi’s endless bickering over what else they wanted to add or take away. It would always end the same, whether they be eating together at another café, sitting in the park and talking, or just standing out on the balcony to just look out on the rest of the city, they’d eye each other until one of them stepped down and simply obliged to what the other had suggested. Illumi, master of resting bitch faces and staring contests, won most of the time. But they’d practice and spend time together a lot over the countless months leading to the competitions. 

There was now only a month left before the ballroom competition, and the pair had a good set of moves that they were still revising, but Hisoka seemed satisfied with them. Illumi, however, was not. Something was... missing. He didn’t know what. He kept adding and adding to improve their actions, thinking that when he’d add them to their dance he’d finally find satisfaction, but every single time something just felt off. Something wasn’t right. And it set him off the edge, though he didn’t show it. In the depths of those void-like eyes burned a profound annoyance for this... feeling in his chest. A guttural feeling; the feeling of missing something. It seriously confused him. Hopefully his discombobulation would be long gone after their competition.

One late evening practice, Illumi had been in Hisoka’s apartment room, the song, ‘Eres Mia’ playing loud and clear from the Zoldyck’s speakers. They danced to the song, their hips moving along with it as they got into the rythm of the music. They glided naturally across the room, their moves near to perfection. Silva would have been proud if he had seen them, and Illumi thought that their dance was incredible. 

But still. There was something _missing_.

Illumi turned under Hisoka’s lead, hair flowing seamlessly between them. They held hands as Illumi stepped forward and into the magician’s arms, his rear pressed up against the others pelvis. 

Something didn’t feel right.

Was it Hisoka? What was this feeling that bothered Illumi so much? What was this missing puzzle piece that he just couldn’t grasp? There was something that they needed. Something that would make all of this feel... complete. Even then, when they spun with the sunset in front of them, something was off.

He rubbed against the other, wrapping Hisoka’s arms around him as he lowered himself down with the beat. He then ducked underneath Hisoka, bringing the older male to his front. Illumi’s eyebrows furrowed as he put a hand onto Hisoka’s chest as they swayed from side to side. It was seriously nagging him. 

Stop it, Illumi scolded himself. Everything is fine. Perfect. 

_So then why do I not feel satisfied?_

The hand still on Hisoka’s chest, Illumi pushed himself away. It wasn’t part of their dance.

“Illu,” Hisoka asked, “What’s wrong?”

The Zoldyck was silent. What _was_ wrong? He didn’t even know himself. Why did he even do that? 

_This must be all Hisoka’s fault._

Yes, Hisoka; that was it. 

It was Hisoka who was the problem here; Hisoka, who made his heart pound undeniably. Hisoka, with that mischievous smirk of his. Hisoka, with those vibrant, amber eyes. 

Illumi came to a simple conclusion — Hisoka was merely a distraction. Most of their ‘practices’ were them going out and just talking. Though they practiced some moves here and there, there was something that irked Illumi. This was driving him off the edge, and he was sure of it; removing Hisoka would probably do him some good. Maybe removing him would, in turn, remove the nagging feeling that just wanted to burst out of Illumi’s chest. 

It had been there for a while, actually. He’d just been brushing it off over and over again, blaming it on something else and making excuses. He’d gotten sick of it; he wanted it to go away. And if he wanted it to go away, then Hisoka would have to leave. Step out from his life. He wad causing too many migraines.

“...Nothing,” Illumi finally replied. “I just... need time.”

The older male raised a brow and looked at the other with a slight head tilt. “Time?”

“A break, I suppose you could say.”

“Hm,” Hisoka said, crossing his arms. His usual smirk wasn’t there, but he was still curious. “Where did this come from?”

Illumi didn’t reply to that, instead taking out his phone and stopping the music. He didn’t meet eyes with Hisoka, his onyx eyes focused on the black screen on his phone. 

“...Illumi?” Hisoka said. After a moment, the Zoldyck finally replied with, “I need to go, Hisoka.” 

His voice was as monotonous as it had always been, but hidden beneath that flatness, there was utter confusion. Illumi was lost. It kept bugging him, this feeling in his chest. He didn’t feel complete. There was something he was missing. Something important, and something that he needed to do. But he couldn’t place his fingers on it; he just couldn’t grasp the possibilities that would be. Illumi was not an incompetent man, but just couldn’t find the thing he felt was missing. 

“Okay then,” Hisoka said, and Illumi could tell that there was a frown visible in his voice. “Contact me when you’re available again?”

Illumi turned his heel and left, not replying, opening the door to the apartment room and leaving Hisoka to stand there by himself. Not once did the younger male look back as he began to speed-walk his way out of the apartment.

What was wrong with him?

Okay, maybe he just needed to avoid Hisoka for a while. Maybe that would help his little problem. Maybe it’d give him some peace of mind. 

Maybe he just needed to get rid of Hisoka as a whole. Would that do him any better?  

Yes, he decided, making his way to the bus stop. It would.


	6. Chapter 6

A week had passed since then, and Illumi hadn’t said a word to Hisoka. He didn’t reply to any of the other’s countless texts, and if he ever saw any hints of a vibrant red, he’d turn the other way just to not see it. It irritated him. Every time he was reminded of anything remotely close to Hisoka, there was... something. He hated it. He despised it with every cell in his body. 

But what was it out of? 

Hisoka was a distraction. Partner or not, he was distracting Illumi from using his full potential, and from doing things that he’d usually do right away. He must have been mistaken in choosing him, though Illumi had never thought that over the course of months they had gotten to know each other. Sorry, no — to practice. 

 _Practice_. 

Hisoka is was getting into his head. He was crawling in, a virus that was slowly but surely infiltrating his brain. And could he reprogram? He didn’t know. That’s what he’d been attempting.

So  _what was it out of?_

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and Illumi pulled it out, leaving that question to hang in the air. He dreaded the answer, and he himself didn’t even want to know what it was. 

‘ _Illu, dear—‘_

Ilumi immediately put it away, not bothering to read the rest of the sentence. He didn’t want to think of Hisoka right now; Hisoka and his incessant pet names. He sat up on his bed, knowing he needed to find a new partner, since he just couldn’t find himself approaching Hisoka again after so abruptly leaving. Besides, he felt as if he’d start getting another one of those headaches, both because of Hisoka being his irritating self and because of the little nag at the back of his head.

He finally got out of his bed, hair messy and unkempt. He went to his bathroom, grabbing a comb and a hair tie. His brushed in a graceful manner as he stuck the hair tie in his mouth when his phone — which was placed face up on the counter — lit up, the ring of a call going through his ears. Onyx eyes fell upon it. This time, it wasn’t Hisoka who was calling him. 

Illumi answered it, placing the comb down and putting the cell phone to his ear. He held his unused hair tie in the other hand. “Kalluto?” The older Zoldyck greeted, though it was more of a question if anything. “What is it?”

Kalluto rarely ever called. Barely any of his brothers called him, or if anything, each other. 

Kalluto, another one of Illumi’s brothers, was an elegant dancer who earned most of his moves from his mother. He danced the most like Kikyou out of all the siblings, a lot like Illumi, every action graceful and filled with a rich elegance that captured the audience’s gaze and attention. All of his performances were origami based. Whenever Illumi saw him dance, his heart swelled with pride. He was part of a rather popular group called, ‘The Phantom Troupe’, and they have quite the reputation in the dancing industry for destroying the other competitors. He was there to replace Hisoka. Illumi was aware that Hisoka used to be part of their little group, but then went off to become a solo dancer. From what he had heard, Hisoka and Chrollo had quite an...  _interesting_  relationship. Though he didn’t know any more details, apparently, he and Chrollo had a little talk which ended in Hisoka leaving. Illumi assumed they had something against each other, but he could be wrong. 

“Brother,” Kalluto replied, a smile visible in his voice. “It’s been a while. There’s a party tonight for my birthday, and I was wondering if you’d like to come?”

“Oh,” Illumi said with a blank expression. Yes, he had known about Kalluto’s birthday, but it seemed he had gotten too caught up in finding another partner that he had forgotten to even greet him. He felt a twinge of guilt go through him; what kind of brother was he? To forget to greet Kalluto on his birthday? How shameful of him. But there was also another thing; the Zoldyck’s never really celebrated birthdays. They’d greet one another, give each other gifts. but there was never _really_ a party or any type of celebration. The person who's birthday was celebrated the most, though, was Killua's. Illumi raised an elegant brow. “A party?”

“I know what you’re thinking,” Kalluto told him, “And it’s not my doing. Since I’m the newest member, the Troupe offered to throw a party for my birthday. I refused, but they were persistent on telling me that they’d celebrate it. So, here I am.”

“Oh,” Illumi said again. “I see. Who will be there?”

“Just you and a few others. Of course the Troupe will be there.”

“Okay.”

A pause. Then, “So, will you come, brother?”

“I’ll... consider it. When does it start?”

“Around eight at the apartment where we’re all staying, if you remember it.”

“Kalluto,” Illumi started, his eyebrow raising to a comical height, his eyes narrowing just barely. “You’re celebrating... at an apartment?” 

Illumi had been expecting something grand; maybe an expensive dinner, or something of that sort. Something luxurious. But it was at the  _apartment_? He was sure his brother deserved much more then celebrating at a mere apartment... that’s what mere commoners did. But he’d go with it if it made his brother happy. 

He, on the other hand, should be the one celebrating in something less grand. His parents rarely ever gave him anything, and he was totally fine with that. He’d honestly gotten used to it.

His parents treated his brothers more. 

His parents cared about his brothers more.

His brothers were happy. 

And that was alright, because that’s all Illumi needed.

“Yes,” the younger Zoldyck replied, snapping Illumi out of his thoughts. “I didn’t want anything too extravagant. A little party is enough. I’m fine with it.”

Oh. 

He forgot that it could even be a choice. 

“...I see.” 

“I’ll meet you there, then, brother.” 

“Yes,” Illumi said. “And... happy birthday.”

Kalluto let out a small laugh. “Thanks.”

Illumi ended the call, putting his phone down. He stood there for a few seconds, silent and still, just like a pretty porcelain doll, before finally beginning to fix up his hair into a neat bun. The dark bags under his eyes looked ten times worse in the light. He washed his face and changed, opening the windows to his apartment room and letting rays of sun enter. 

He didn’t have any plans for tonight, so he figured he’d go to Kalluto’s little celebration. Maybe he could spend time looking for other partners in the meantime. Parties were never really his thing; sure, he could go to one, but he had always thought that celebrations and such were a waste of time. Unless is was someone who meant a lot to him, he couldn’t care less. 

He opened up his computer, sitting himself down on the couch. ‘Solo dancers who live in YorkNew City’ Illumi typed into the search bar. A few results came up, and so he found himself contacting a few of them. It’s alright, Illumi reassured himself. There was still time... maybe two or so weeks until the competition? This was fine. He could do with that. It didn’t matter that this was literally one of the biggest competitions of five years. 

He. Could. Do. With. That.

What a shame. So many months, wasted. 

For the next few hours, dancer after dancer visited him, keeping him busy as they looked for different moves for Eres Mia. But Illumi had felt even more dissatisfied than he had in the beginning when he was with Hisoka. Goodness, these dancers he was with made  that amateur boy who was friends with Killua back then — Gon, he thinks his name was — look like a pro. They were horrid. _Terrible_. 

How unfortunate.

And so, dancer after dancer left, Illumi knowing that they just weren’t good enough for his tastes. None of them could match his level. Maybe it’s because they didn’t have broad shoulders. Maybe it’s because they didn’t have that vibrant, red hair. Maybe it’s because they didn’t know how to sway their hips as fluently. Maybe it’s because they  didn’t have that mischievous smirk that made their next moves almost unpredictable. And most of all, maybe it’s because they didn’t have that look in their eyes, the glints of a predator-like man, a sly feline, swirling in amber yellow. 

They were normal. Normal people. Normal dancers. Not anything special. 

It because they weren’t—

They’re weren’t— couldn't, and never will be—

_Don’t say it, Illumi._

_Don’t say his name._

Illumi internally shook his head. He really needed to get himself together. The confusion, the anger — it was all hidden under a smooth porcelain and a neutral expression. He was angry at himself, a fire burning underneath that placid expression of his. He was furious. Extremely furious. 

His hand clenched into a ball, his nails digging into his skin, yet his face is as still as it ever has been.

Stop thinking, he berated himself. He stared at the door to his apartment room; another dancer had just left. They had been pathetic, and they whined and complained over the song. Illumi had tightened his jaw. They were incredibly disrespectful. He wanted to kill them. It seemed they had eventually gotten the murderous vibes from the Zoldyck and left.

Sighing, he sat onto his couch and sunk into it as he stared out the window, the skies a deep navy blue. He never even realized how late it was, and how time had seemed to pass by so quickly though he suffered from a headache at those repulsively horrible dancers. How unfortunate, the position he was in. Father would most definitely not be pleased. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket again, and he pulled it out. More texts from Hisoka. He didn’t read them. Would the clown just leave him be? Was he asking to get ripped apart?

Actually, knowing Hisoka... he’d probably like that. 

Illumi felt something in his heart again. Disgusting, what even was this?

Stop thinking, he told himself once more, letting ‘ _of him’_  hang in his head. It was then to be thrown away into a chest and locked, never to be opened. 

He checked his watch — it was seven thirty. 

“Shit,” Illumi said aloud, getting up from where he was and straightening himself up, fixing his posture. He needed to get ready for Kalluto’s party. 

He opened his closet, seeing various articles of clothing he could choose from. He decided to go for a semi-formal attire; a white and sleevless collared shirt, tucked into navy jeans, letting the shirt puff out a bit. Illumi then wore a light and emerald green puffy jacket, as he figured the night was cool. He combed his hair again, before finally putting on shoes — flats, specifically — and began to head out to Kalluto’s apartment — though he considered it more of a den, honestly — where he knew it was taking place. A while back, a package had arrived in front of his door, but he had set it aside because Hisoka had been there at the time. It was Kalluto’s favourite eyeliner brand. It was expensive, but Illumi would buy anything for his brothers. He had noticed that Kalluto loved it and used it all the time, so Illumi had bought it for him a while back. It had been sitting in his room for the past few weeks, and it only occurred to him now —  _oh, right, I need to give that today._

He went to a nearby store to get a small little bag and then placed the eyeliner inside with a handwritten card. It said, ' _Happy Birthday, Kalluto.'_ and at the bottom was his name, _'_ _Illumi.'_

He also found a ribbon in his pockets — a coincidence, but — and used that to tie it around the eyeliner to turn it into a little bow. Just that little touch.

The Troupe’s place was near the city’s skyline, as the room they had booked was the highest floor on one of the highest apartment buildings. So, his little brother was pretty high up. He wondered if Kalluto liked that or not, but he was sure that Kalluto was certainly used to it. Their house was much, much taller. Illumi stepped into the elevator gracefully, pressing the button with the number nineteen on it. He felt the elevator go up, and he exited once he was at his desired floor. 

Illumi headed down the hallways, and then stopped in front of room 1918. 

Now, Illumi wasn’t exactly very extroverted; the Zoldyck was a socially inept person, and he’d rather listen than socialize. He was naturally a quiet person. So, he wasn’t very excited about this whole...  _party_ , but he’d join anyways. His brother did mean a lot to him — all of them did. He’d do anything for them.

Without any further hesitance, he gave the door a few strong knocks. A moment later, Illumi was face to face with a certain ebony-haired man and the sounds of people yelling on the inside. Dark eyes could see various bottles of beer on the ground and... lights. Lots of them, just flashing around. 

“Illumi,” Chrollo greeted him with a smile. He had been the one who opened the door. It seemed the others had been too caught up in whatever they were doing. The shorter male was holding a book in his hand. “You made it.” His eyes flickered down at the gift Illumi was carrying, “And with a gift, too.”

“Yes,” Illumi replied. “I figured I’d come — it is my brother’s birthday, after all. And of course I brought a gift; it’s only proper.” 

The other male let out a low chuckle. “I’m sure Kalluto will appreciate it.”

The Zoldyck didn’t even blink. “I would hope so.”

Chrollo then stepped aside. “Come in and join the fun.” 

Without looking at him, the taller man did, going in without a word. He didn’t think it’d be very  _fun_ , but whatever. 

As soon as he entered, he regretted it all with every fiber of his being. God, he shouldn’t have come. The speakers were blasting horrible music, the baselines making the entire apartment floor shake. Illumi could practically feel the vibrations going through him. And the choice of music was terrible. Illumi preferred slower songs. Calmer songs. Songs that weren’t whatever this one was. Wasn’t Kalluto into the same music as he was? What was this? 

He then realized that Kalluto, out of generosity, probably gave some of the Troupe members the aux chord. How unsurprising. No wonder it was so rowdy.

How splendid, Illumi thought to himself with drooping eyelids. He regained his posture, though, when Chrollo announced, “Everyone, meet Illumi. He’s...”

Chrollo glanced at Illumi, and the Zoldyck gave him a look, before stepping in. “I’m one of his associates.” 

Chrollo nodded, and Illumi was glad Chrollo respected his wishes, as they were not friends. Associates, yes. Not friends. 

All the people in the room looked at him, and a woman with blonde hair spoke. She was tall. “Aren’t you... a famous dancer? And Kalluto’s brother?”

“Yes,” Illumi replied bluntly, “I am Illumi Zoldyck, eldest of the Zoldyck brothers.”

“Oh!” Another girl — was she holding a vacuum? — exclaimed. “You’re a man?”

“Didn’t Chrollo just call him a he, Shizuku?” Said a guy beside her. He wore a permanent scowl, no eyebrows, and blond hair. He was crossing his arms, his voice low and raspy. “And Pakunoda literally just said ‘brother’.” 

“They did?” The girl — Shizuku — asked. 

A sigh. “Yes, they did.” 

“I don’t remember.” 

Illumi’s irritation slightly heightened, but he kept his usual stoic expression. “Yes, I am a male.” 

“Oh,” Shizuku continued. Illumi fully took in her appearance; she had dark hair, big eyes, and glasses. She wore a dark turtleneck with jeans. “I just thought you were an overly masculine woman.”

Another male with a blond hair huffed out a slight laugh. He had something akin to a bowl cut. It looked as if he had grown it out. He also wore a sleeveless top that puffed out, much like Illumi's white top, but a bit thicker, and it was a lovely lavender colour. It also had something underneath. "If anything, that'd be Hisoka." 

Laughter was heard from the back of the room, and Illumi tilted his head. It was a man with a spiky ponytail, who had a bottle of beer in his hand while holding his stomach from doubling over. He wore baggy sweatpants and a purple sweater. 

Chrollo sighed, “Excuse them. Anyways, everyone, introduce yourselves for Illumi.”

That forgetful girl, who Illumi had just recently found out was named Shizuku, spoke up. “I’m Shizuku. And this is Blinky.” She pointed to her vacuum that had... plastic teeth attached onto it? Illumi thought it was extremely strange, but decided not to question it.

The man with the ponytail from the back’s voice was low and raspy, and it was probably from all the beer. “Call me Nobunaga.”

Soon, Illumi had learnt of the rest everyone’s names; they all seemed like good people, though Illumi didn’t really know what else to think about them. He’d seen the Phantom Troupe in action before — yes, they were quite good dancers. Though Chrollo was the best. The sudden sound of a door opening came to Illumi’s attention. A boy had come out from the washroom, taking a step into this little circle they had formed while introducing themselves. Onyx eyes dilated; Illumi knew who it was right away. 

“What’s all the commotion abo...” the boy stopped in his tracks, trailing off as he met eyes with Illumi. 

“Brother,” Kalluto blinked, seeing Illumi in front of him.

“Hello,” Illumi greeted him almost awkwardly. “I was wondering where you were.” He gave Kalluto the gift, and the smaller male took it. “Happy birthday.” 

“Thank you,” Kalluto smiled, elated at whatever Illumi brought him. He glanced inside, and immediately smiled even brighter. He looked up at Illumi with sparkling magenta eyes. “You got my favourite! Thank you.”

“You’re welcome” Illumi replied, his lips curling up into a smile. It was rare to see him smile. Something in Kalluto's eyes softened when he looked up at him. “You should really smile more like that.”

“I’d rather not,” Illumi said, turning to glance at all the others. “Anyways, h—“

“Woohoo!” Nobunaga roared as he slammed down his now empty bottle of beer, cutting Illumi off and ruining whatever heartfelt moment was there beforehand. he swiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looking drowsy as he shouted, “Let’s get this party started!” 

Illumi’s irritation heightened slightly but he ignored it. It seemed Kalluto didn’t really mind, which kind of surprised him.

“I agree,” He then said, still smiling. He then looked around. “Karaoke, anyone?”

Half of the room groaned, including Nobunaga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo! You guys ready for a karaoke session with the Phantom Troupe?  
> Oh! And another thing. I like to think that as of now it is somewhere between September and October, and I also like to think that Kalluto's birthday is somewhere there, so that's the reasoning to that! This party is also very important.  
> Hope you stay tuned for the next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

The birthday boy’s wishes were respected. Phinks scowled when he was forced to start the karaoke machine, and Feitan had begun to snicker in the corner at his expression. It seemed he was laughing at everyone’s faces right now. They all looked like they suddenly didn’t want to be here. Not that they couldn’t sing, of course. The majority of them could, they just would rather not. 

“Must we do this?” Machi asked, eyebrows furrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“It’s Kalluto’s wishes, so...” Pakunoda told her with a sigh. “I guess.”

“Great,” Nobunaga groaned from across the room as he stared at the TV screen, which had started to work. Phinks got up from his position. “Done. What song?”

“What about ‘Careless Whisper’?” Shizuku offered. Almost all of them furrowed their brows. “Yeah, no.” They said in unison.

Nobunaga slammed his bottle of beer down again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I demand we play—”

Feitan sniffed, cutting him off. “Your songs are shit, so no.”

“Bastard,” The other man almost yelled, offended. “They are not!”

“Kind of are,” Phinks added in, and Nobunaga stood up from his position. “You wanna start something?” He waved his bottle threateningly at them, “I’ll kill you both!”

“Come and get us,” Feitan said nonchalantly, averting his gaze. Phinks rolled his eyes with a scowl. 

“You...!” Nobunaga threw himself at them, and both Feitan and Phinks dodged with slight movement. They were used to it.

“Will you all quiet down?!” Machi yelled over everyone, “For fuck’s sake, let’s just start singing!”

“You like singing, Machi?” Shalnark asked her with a slight head tilt.

“No,” Machi huffed, “But I just want everyone to calm down. Jesus Christ. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m able to deal with half of the people here.”

Pakunoda was in the corner, rubbing her temples. “Be quiet. Please stop.”

“C’mere!” Nobunaga yelled across the room, and Machi began to yell at him even more. Shalnark was trying to calm everyone down, Kortopi was hiding behind Chrollo, Pakunoda was sitting down and trying to cancel out everyone, Chrollo was watching in amusement with a book in his hand, Kalluto was making origami birds in the background, Franklin and Bonolenov were playing cards and not giving a care about the others, Feitan and Phinks were being chased around by Nobunaga, and it was just pure chaos.

Illumi wanted to leave as soon as possible. Someone remind him why he came again? What a horrible place to be in. If he could, he would find a hole, curl up into a ball, and stay there for as long as he could. He wanted to go home. 

And then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, the door swung open with an abrupt bang. Silence fell over the group, and they all turned their heads towards the door. A familiar looking clown entered, hair slicked back like usual, wearing pink sweatpants with a stylish purple sweater. His golden earrings dangled and glinted in the lights, amber eyes set upon the group. He was smiling. “Am I late to the party?”

“Hisoka,” Kalluto was the first to speak, “I didn’t know you’d come.”

“Quite harsh, dear Kalluto.” Hisoka feigned a pout, stepping in. “But I just  _ had  _ to. It’s your birthday, after all!” He pulled out a little bag he had brought along and handed it to the younger Zoldyck with a smile. 

“Thanks,” Kalluto mirrored the other’s expression. Everyone else glared at Hisoka, except for Illumi, who was staring at him with wide eyes, frozen in place. Why was Hisoka here? 

There was literally no reason as to why he should be. Kalluto didn’t even know him — did the other troupe members tell Kalluto about him and he got curious? But why would he ever go and contact Hisoka? Kalluto was a curious little boy, so that could be a big factor, but... to actually go through with it, and then have Hisoka greet him as an old friend. 

"Did you invite your oldest brother here, Kalluto?" Hisoka leaned over the younger Zoldyck, putting two hands on his hips. Illumi, who was hiding behind the others, knew Kalluto was going to point to him and tell Hisoka that  _ yes _ , he  _ was  _ here. But oh, how he  _ wished  _ Kalluto would go,  _ no _ ,  _ my brother doesn't want to speak to you right now.  _

Illumi wanted to leave as quickly as he could. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Nobunaga then shouted at Hisoka, much to Illumi's relief, as the man with the purple jacket had interrupted the conversation that would have led to Illumi's certain death.

“Just joining the fun,” the redhead replied cheekily. To this, Nobunaga threw his beer bottle towards him. Hisoka caught it with ease, placing it down on the countertop nearby. 

“Go away, Hisoka. No one likes you.” Phinks said with a scowl. Feitan nodded. 

Hisoka ignored them both, and suddenly a whole new chaos emerged from Hisoka’s appearance; everyone was yelling again. Nobunaga kept throwing beer bottles at Hisoka but ended up hitting Feitan and a few others instead, making them angry at him. And that is when Illumi found his entrance. 

“Hey,” Illumi whispered to Machi amidst the chaos, who was beside him and staring at Hisoka with much irritation. The female turned her head to look at him. “What?”

“Is there anywhere I can hide?” The Zoldyck asked quietly.

“Why?”

“Hisoka.”

Machi snorted, not questioning him. “That’s some valid reasoning. But there’s, er, a cupboard underneath the stairs. Maybe you can go there for the meantime.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Illumi immediately dashed for the stairwell, getting into the cupboard and locking himself in. He had ducked underneath everyone else so that Hisoka wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately, it seemed he did.

“What was that?” The magician asked curiously. “I just saw something zoom across the room.”

Machi stepped in, crossing her arms. “It was a rat.”

“Hm,” Hisoka smiled, amused. It seemed he hadn’t  _ really  _ seen what it was — just a black smudge of a thing whizzing by. “That’s the biggest rat I’ve seen all day.”

“Apart from the one you see in the mirror?”

The magician finally let out a slight chuckle. “Oh, Machi. Always with the petty comebacks.” He pulled out his phone, glancing down at it for a moment or so, as if wanting to check for something. He then glanced at the karaoke machine. “Anyways,” he starts, glancing back at Kalluto again. “Where were we at, darling? Oh, yes — about your brother. Have you seen him?” 

“Yes, I have.” Said Kalluto, looking in the direction to where he last saw Illumi. “He’s right…” his eyebrows then furrow. “Oh. I thought he was over there.” 

“He probably left,” Nobunaga said idly, taking another swig of his beer. A frown etched its way onto Kalluto’s face. His eyes lost some of their brightness. He looked… sad. 

Machi bonked Nobunaga on the head. “Look what you did,” she hissed at him. 

“ _ What? _ ” Nobunaga said back, rubbing his head. “I’m just suggesting.” 

“Well it was the wrong fucking thing to suggest, you idiot!” 

After a long sigh, Kalluto finally spoke up with a small smile. “I see.” 

It was silent, Machi glaring holes into the older man’s head. Then, Hisoka cleared his throat. “Did I miss the karaoke session?”

“No, you didn’t,” Kalluto told him. “Care to join?”

“Of course,” Hisoka said with a smile.  Without hesitance, he came forward to grab the remote. Phinks, Feitan, Machi, and Nobunaga watched him with dirty glares. Humming, Hisoka picked it up and then punched in a number. 

Once the title of the song showed up, everyone let out another groan. “Are you kidding me?” Phinks said.

“Honestly, your music taste is as bad as Nobunaga’s,” Feitan added. The said man got up from where he was, “I heard that, bastard!”

Everyone ignored him. Hisoka cracked his knuckles, reaching for the mic as the music began to play. He turned to everyone, extending a hand. “Why don’t you all sing with me?”

They deadpanned, “No.”

“But you all know this song,” Hisoka spoke in singsong. 

“And we all hate it.”

“Awe, c’mon...” the redhead pouted, but his smile returned to him when he turned back to the screen as the lyrics made their way to the screen.

Hisoka brought the mic to his lips, and Chrollo —  surprisingly — stood beside him. “I hate this song,” he murmured, “but it means a lot to us.”

Hisoka smiled, “I know. “

_ Three... _

Latin songs weren’t exactly the troupe’s thing, but Hisoka had blasted this song so much in their meetings before that they had all memorized it out of hate. They hated it so much that they learned to memorize it. But whenever this song played, there was always a moment that happened that the group would never forget; something good always came to them. It kind of became the song they all had a love-hate relationship with; it annoyed them, but they loved it. 

_ Two... _

Each member — except Kalluto, since he was still new to the group — knew exactly what their specific dance would be at each part. It sort of became… a tradition. 

_ One… _

_ Suavemente, bésame,  _

_ Yo quiero sentir tus labios _

_ besándome otra vez. _

Hisoka sand the start, extending a hand at the others. They all huffed. 

_ Suavemente, bésame,  _

_ Yo quiero sentir tus labios _

_ besándome otra vez. _

Chrollo continued the song, tapping his feet subconsciously to the music. Nobunaga was next, and he knew it was his turn to sing after Chrollo. He huffed, “I really, really hate this song.” Before starting to sing the next few parts. 

_ (Suave!)  _

_ Bésame, bésame _

_ (Suave!)  _

Phinks and Feitan joined in and did the “suave!” parts, whilst Machi and Pakunoda sighed in the background, their feet beginning to tap as well. 

_ Bésame otra vez _

_ (Suave!)  _

_ Que quiero sentir tus labios _

_ (Suave!)  _

_ Besándome otra vez _

Shizuku, smiling, began to dance with her vacuum in hand. Machi, Bonolenov  — who had stopped playing cards just for this —  and Pakunoda followed suit. Hisoka smiled as he chose to join them, dancing in the middle.

_ (Suave!)  _

_ Besa, besa _

_ (Suave!)  _

_ Bésame un poquito _

_ (Suave!)  _

_ Besa, besa, besa, _

_ (Suave!)  _

_ Bésame otro ratito _

_ (Suave!)  _

Nobunaga couldn’t help but let out a, “Woo!” once the instrumental came on, and all of a sudden, they had all forgotten that this was even a karaoke. He began hitting his lap to go along with the beat as Hisoka’s hips began to roll on with the song. Machi and Pakunoda danced at the ends, while Shizuku and Bonolenov out in the front, stepping forwards and smiling as they clapped along, letting Phinks, Shalnark, and Franklin begin to clap along as well. 

Kalluto watched them with a broad smile. This was the first time he’d seen it. 

“Kalluto!” Hisoka called to him, extending a hand, “Join us.” 

The younger Zoldyck’s cheeks went a tinge of pink, and he decided to do exactly as Hisoka asked. They all moved to the sides, forming a small circle in the middle of the room. This music wasn’t exactly Kalluto’s type, but he found it seemed a ton of fun to dance to. He stood in the middle, tapping his feet, nodding his head to the music. He closed his eyes, listening to the song. He then placed a hand and hovered it high above his head, curving it down slightly. He opened his eyes, a vibrant magenta showing through as it pierced the others. 

His hips jutted out forwards elegantly, stepping to every beat of the music, holding his fan out he sliced it to the side, then in front. Kalluto always moved as if there were two pieces of paper under his feet, and he always kept them there, never letting them fall anywhere else, hence why his actions were always so graceful and elegant. He slid his leg forward and leaned back, hands waving the fan in front of him to the beat of the song. 

The rest of the troupe, especially Hisoka, was smiling as they clapped along to his movements. 

A final swoosh forward of his little dance, and Kalluto was done, his hips still swaying elegantly to the music. He bowed, and everyone clapped. 

“Can we play another song?” Phinks then complained right after, knowing that his parts with Shalnark and Feitan would come soon if they didn’t stop this. The said two snorted. 

“I just realized,” Shalnark said afterward, “that although this song was Hisoka’s suggestion, he only sang one part.” 

“Yeah, you sell out.” Nobunaga spat at him. Hisoka shrugged, “Well, it was for the group, was it not?”

“Shut up,” Feitan told him with drooping eyelids. To this, Hisoka hummed with satisfaction; he  _ knew  _ he was right. 

“Okay, another song, then,” Pakunoda suggested. The others nodded, letting her pick up the remote. Phinks suddenly lit up, a mischievous smirk slowly tugging at his lips. The others raised a brow at him. The blond stood up, going up to Pakunoda and whispering something into her ear with a grin. Soon, the female began to smile as well.

“Alright,” Pakunoda nodded, and it looked as if she were suppressing a light laugh that was sure to escape her lips. She punched in the numbers for the song, and soon, the title came onto the screen. Then, she glanced at Feitan.

He was pale.

Well, paler than usual, that was. Phinks let out a snort from where he was sitting and Feitan gave him the coldest glare he could manage. Of course, the blond male looked a bit nervous at the look he was receiving and became even more fearful when Feitan said, “Be careful when you go to sleep tonight.”

Shizuku looked at Pakunoda, “What’d Phinks tell you?”

“Oh,” Pakunoda started with a smile, “Since we were on the genre of Latin, he asked me to play that one song Feitan knew from heart.”

“You...!” Feitan rasped at Phinks, and the blond male began laughing out loud. Feitan opened his mouth to retort, but Kalluto spoke up. “Why don’t you sing for us, Feitan? I’ve heard it before. You’re an excellent singer.”

Feitan merely sighed. “There’s no way I’m singing that in front of all of you.” 

“Why not?” Kalluto  continued. “What’s the harm?”

“C’mon, Feitan,” Phinks teased him, “It’s his wishes. Are you not going to grant them on his birthday?”

Another cold glare came from the dark haired male. “Watch your mouth. But fine. By the end of it, though, I’m killing you, Phinks.”

“We’ll see,” Phinks sneered playfully. He reached for the mic, handing it to Feitan. The other male grabbed it almost harshly from the blond’s hands, giving him another look. The music began to start. 

Hisoka, who had been busy on his phone, suddenly felt a pull at his heart. So did Illumi, from inside the stairwells, ignoring the several messages Hisoka had just sent him.

Feitan deadpanned at the screen, before letting out a sigh and beginning to sing, ‘Eres Mia’.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that! Fun fact -- this part was originally going to be Chrollo's, but it just didn't fit into my desired timeline :)   
> Remember to leave a review! They mean a ton to me.


	8. Chapter 8

Though he tried his best to hide it, Hisoka felt it; the yearning, the need for Illumi to talk to him again. He didn’t even know why his dear Illu stopped talking to him; that, in itself, was a mystery.  

As Feitan sang — and dare he say it, Feitan was actually a good singer — a chuckle began to slip out from his lips. He put his hand over his mouth, muffled noises coming from underneath as those chuckles turned into laughter. It almost sounded maniacal. He put a hand on his stomach as he doubled over. Some of the troupe members looked at him strangely, but Hisoka didn’t care. 

_Ya me han informado que tu novio es un insípido aburrido..._

Ah, this song.

He backed up, continuing to laugh, his actions almost drowsy, as if he had just taken down ten bottles of whiskey. Oh, whiskey. The drink he and Illumi drank the most, and the first time they had ever drunken together was when they had gone to a bar maybe a month or so after meeting each other for the first time, since Illu was always busy with... whatever his father was telling him to do. Plus, the younger male was never really interested in hanging out with Hisoka. It had taken Hisoka several weeks just to convince Illumi to go to the bar with him. Alongside that came wine; he and Illumi, over the course of the months, now, had once argued over which brand of wine was better. Pictures, moments, and the doll's voice suddenly flowed through his head. He bumped into the side of the stairs, lost in the fit of his laughter as the song continued. His knees buckled from underneath him, and he laughed even harder when his back slumped into the stairwell. He slid down, slowly, a symphony of something that was supposed to symbolize joy playing from his lips. It soon faded when his rear reached the bottom, and he sat there, legs spread wide, knees pointing upwards. He didn’t even realize that when he slumped against the stairwell, there was a slight creak behind him. Like a heavy object being leaning against an unknown door.

_Tú que eres fogata y el tan frío._

Now, the laughter was completely gone. He was smiling, the music flowing through his ears. He could remember the moments so clearly; him and Illumi, just dancing away. Making improvisations, stil continuing to argue over what moves to do; spins, egg-meters, underarm turns, a dramatic fall. The pictures spread through his mind, one by one, but they felt like only the sliver of a second, despite the several months that they spent together. A burning amber watched flickering lights flash all over the room as he put his hands over his knees, his head leaning back against the wall. Oh, how fun this was. 

_Dice tu amiguita que es celoso no quiere que sea tu amigo..._

How come this song always felt so upbeat to him, and now, it was just...

_Sospecha que soy un pirata y robaré su loro._

...Bittersweet?

_No te asombres,_

He enjoyed it, yet despised it all at the same time. 

_Si una noche,_

He smiled.

_Entro a tu cuarto y nuevamente te hago mía._

He missed his placid, emotionless, porcelain doll. 

He missed _Illumi._

* * *

Illumi sat in the stairwell cupboard quietly, and when he heard the song play, he didn’t know what to do. It blast through his heart like a bullet, and he just didn’t know what to do with it. Not to mention the constant dings that had come from his phone before the song; now that it had played, they had completely stopped. 

_Ya me han informado que tu novio es un insípido aburrido..._

He sat there, leaning against the door, curled up in a small ball, his hands on both his knees and his head facing downwards. His long and luscious ebony locks, spilled over his shoulders effortlessly, almost overcasting his features. It was dark enough in this little place — Illumi had put his phone’s flashlight on, which was placed in front of him, though his foor had accidentally shifted it a little more to his left. He had been so focused on the song that he didn’t even hear the muffled laughter coming from the other side of the door. So focused, that he didn’t even feel someone else’s presence; the thud against his back.

_Tú que eres fogata y el tan frío._

His dark, void-like eyes stared at the gap in his knees, which was the hardwood floor. He didn’t know how long he had been in there, and he was planning to get out too. Until that damned song had to play. He had tried to go, but he had heard all of the commotion outside, so he knew he couldn’t get out without Hisoka noticing him. And now, here he was, sitting and getting all...  _emotional_ over a stupid, frivolous song that meant _nothing_ to him.

_Dice tu amiguita que es celoso no quiere que sea tu amigo..._

Illumi could almost still feel his hand in Hisoka’s, or the hot breath against his neck... or that time they faced the sunset together, his back against Hisoka’s firm chest. The thought of it seemed so... _something_. Something? What did people call this, a fantasy? He wrinkled his nose slightly. Disgusting. He could still feel those deep, yellow orbs, staring straight into his onyx ones. That smirk, and his disgustingly vibrant cranberry bangs. His repulsive, lewd noises. He didn’t even know why he hung around such a revolting clown. He didn’t even know why he felt so sad, so down in the dumps. Was he not happy he cut off Hisoka? What was it? What _was_ it? Why did he feel so _angry?_ He clenched his hands, his nails digging into his fingers. His face, now still, yet his eyes were held something akin to an absolute fury. 

_Sospecha que soy un pirata y robaré su loro._

He...

Didn't miss Hisoka. 

He didn't miss that flirty, confident, mischievous clown.

_No te asombres, si una noche,_

He hated him. 

_Hate._

The flashlight from his phone began to fade out, until he was left in nothing but pure darkness once more. He sighed. His phone must have run out of battery.

_Entro a tu cuarto y nuevamente te hago mía._

He hated this so much. 

_Bien conoces,_

Oh, he so loved his brother. But he regretted coming. 

_Mis errores,_

He sat there, still as a doll, expressionless and seeing nothing but pure black. He was still staring at where the gap in his legs was supposed to be, when he suddenly felt something in his eyes. His vision became blurry; even in the darkness, he could tell. His nose felt runny, and a small, almost inaudible sniffle escaped him. 

_El egoísmo de ser dueño de tu vida._

He wiped his eyes, confused yet still flat-faced, but more tears just kept coming. He wiped them even more, trying to muffle the countless sniffles that were coming out. 

_Eres mía,_

Was he...  _crying?_

_mía, mía,_

He blinked, and a teardrop began to roll down his cheek. He took a hand and swiped at it, continuously blinking until he forcibly let himself stop crying. A few moments later, his sniffles began to fade into nothing, as if he had never cried in the first place. He sat there for a few minutes more, just listening to the music whilst reminiscing. 

_No te hagas la loca eso muy bien ya lo sabias._

He then let out a quiet sigh. He was going to go home; he couldn’t take anymore of this. He didn’t care if Hisoka saw him anymore — let him see, for all he cared. He’d have to apologize to Kalluto. But right now, all he wanted to do was leave. How pathetic of him, more self-discipline would have to do... to even shed a tear over a _song_. A  _SONG_.

He moved himself from his position, and took his phone with him as he reached for the knob on the door and slowly creaked it open. 

Suddenly, as soon as he opened it, the door whammed into his face and hit his forehead. He didn’t flinch as he got hit, just sitting there with a newfound surge of pain rushing through him as he heard someone thud onto the ground. The door still in his face, he tried to free himself from the current position he was in whilst rubbing his forehead. His eyes were still trying to adjust to the sudden amount of light that had entered his dark little pit, so he was hissing and blinking like an angry cat. Once they finally came to him, he found a familiar looking clown staring up at him with those amber eyes of his. 

Oh, no. 

“Illumi?” Hisoka said, staring up at him. 

“...Hisoka.” Illumi replied. He had known the other was here, though he didn’t know if Hisoka knew he was here as well. Illumi could see the genuine surprise in his eyes; maybe he had just seen his figure earlier, not knowing it was actually him.

“Why are you...?” The older male started, furrowing his brows at the other. Why was he what? Why was he still at the party, or why was he in a small, dark, cupboard underneath the stairwell? Unless he had noticed something else... perhaps his current state. Nevertheless, Illumi tried to answer in the most casual manner he could muster. “I was invited to my brother’s party, and as you know, I’m not very sociable. I was uncomfortable with the karaoke and with the party in general so I hid in here.”

“Then why’d you come?” Hisoka narrowed his eyes slightly. 

“Is it not obvious?” Illumi almost scoffed, “I did it out of respect for my brother.”

“And Chrollo let you come?”

“Sometimes I wonder why I bother to hang around you.” Illumi said at Hisoka’s question and the obvious answer to it. “Yes. Of course he did. I'm Kalluto’s brother, after all. Why would you ask that?"

"Nothing..." Hisoka murmured, looking away for a moment. 

Idiot, Illumi inwardly thought as he looked at Hisoka.

“Is Chrollo your friend?” Hisoka then asked, raising a brow. 

“No. He is merely an associate.”

“Like me?”

Illumi hesitated. He couldn’t really label Hisoka as an ‘associate’ anymore, as they were much more than that. Out of all of his acquaintances from the past, he had had the most moments with Hisoka. The magician must have noticed his pause, as a wide grin began to spread over his lips. It was so bright and smug that Illumi felt blinded. He felt disgusted. 

He wasn't one to indulge in... friendship. The _Zoldycks_ weren’t ones to have friends. That was what he grew up to, and he was reminded of it over and over again. Never once did he ever consider someone a friend; it was always either acquaintance or associate. A person he worked with, not someone he hung out with. It was never that. But the next thing he knew, the words were escaping out his now parted lips. 

“Fine,” The Zoldyck said, not attempting to make any more excuses. “No, Hisoka. Not like you. Because you’re..."

_Zoldyck's don't have friends._

_What is a friend?_

_Is it you?_

_Are you what people call... a friend?_

_You call_ me _a friend. But we're not._

_Are we?_

_How useless. How questionable._

_So what are you supposed to be? You aren't that much of an associate. What would you be, Hisoka Morow?_

_You do nothing but irritate me. You do nothing but make me angry._

_But I've never met someone like you._

_Tell me._

_Maybe we are kind of friends?_

_Are you..._

_Could you be..._

"...my friend?"

Even to him, those words felt foreign. He didn't know whether or not he liked the taste of it on his tongue. But the same unfamiliar beat went through him, and for once, he meant it genuinely. To add onto it, his lips twitched slightly, curling up for a brief moment as he gazed down at the older man in front of him.

Hisoka, who was still laying down, suddenly brought himself upwards, a hand cupped over his mouth. Even in the dimness of the room, Illumi could see something different in those vibrant eyes of Hisoka’s. Illumi tilted his hand at the other, not really understanding his reaction to what he said. Did he say something wrong? Hisoka was unusually quiet. He was relieved when the redhead finally turned to him, the biggest smile he had ever seen on the other’s face. The magician began to let out a small laugh, and Illumi exhaled in relief. The atmosphere suddenly felt so much lighter.

They had missed each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY OKAY OKAY LISTEN  
> I know the point of views are kind of weird because most of it is through Illumi's, but it was Hisoka's at the start, kind of. I give up. The rest will be in Illumi's, but-- just forgive me this once, I know this fic is everywhere and I'm sorry!! It'll just be this one chapter. I think.  
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter <3  
> ALSO WOOO I HIT 20K WORDS AIN'T THAT GREAT


	9. Chapter 9

They had heaved themselves out of the small cupboard as soon as the song faded to nothing, the sound of, “Congratulations! Your score is ninety-four!” Ringing into their ears as numerous claps went through the apartment room. Feitan, who had sickly pale skin, had a tinge of red over his cheeks. Sounds of laughter came afterwards as they all cheered; the loudest was Phinks, who hooted like there was no tomorrow. 

Unconsciously, Hisoka had grabbed Illumi’s hand while getting up. The Zoldyck had noticed it, of course, but for some reason he just couldn’t find himself pulling away. They arose from their positions and began to walk to the center, forgetting the gesture they were doing. 

The room quieted when they rejoined the little karaoke session, and everyone’s eyes were on them. 

“Hello, hello,” Hisoka started with a closed-eye smile and a little wave. “We’re alive.”

Illumi heard Nobunaga mutter, “Unfortunately.”

“Back with your boyfriend, Hisoka?” Machi said, raising a brow in amusement as her eyes trailed down to their intertwined hands. It was then when Illumi realized the severity of what they were doing, and immediately pulled his hand away. Hisoka, making no notice to this, glanced at the other. “Oh, no, just a _friend_.” 

There was emphasis on the last word. Was Hisoka just that happy he was now considered such? Illumi just nodded along, and he found himself being watched carefully by Chrollo. There was a smile on the smaller dancer’s face; he almost looked amused, the back of his hand under his chin casually, his elbow resting on the other arm as his other hand wrapped around his waist.

“Anyways,” the magician continued, amber eyes scouring the room. “Who has the aux cord?”

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” Machi stepped in. She glared at Hisoka. “We are _not_ going to play your shitty playlist, Hisoka.”

“What a way to describe my songs,” Hisoka said, pouting in mock hurt. “Besides. My songs are what you guys dance to, are they not?”

“Dance _d_ ,” Machi corrected him, emphasizing the 'd'. 

“Yeah,” Nobunaga agreed. “They’re not. Not anymore.” He took down some of his beer.

“Well,” The redhead said, “You guys used to listen to them all the time before. You have to admit; my songs are pretty good.”

“They’re all _Latin_ , Hisoka!”

“And? That isn’t true anymore, but even so, I don’t see the problem.” Hisoka took out his phone, getting his playlist ready. He extended a hand, moving three fingers in such a way that made it look like he wanted a person to bring him something. “Now, someone hand me that aux chord.” 

“No, I want to play something.” Phinks and Feitan said in unison. They stared at each other, narrowing their eyes.

“No! Me!” Nobunaga shouted, pointing to himself.

“I would like to play something,” Pakunoda offered. 

“Me!”

“No, you twat. _Me!_ ”

Soon, they began to scream atop each other, several insults and 'ME!'s thrown around here and there. Chrollo sighed, closing his eyes. “Silence,” he said in an authoritative tone, immediately quieting everyone. He glanced at the party members. “You all know what to do when there’s an argument.”

“Yeah, yeah,” they all grumbled, except for Illumi. Phinks pulled out a coin, looking at everyone. “Call it.” He flipped it into the air. Hisoka, Machi, Kortopi, Pakunoda, Franklin, and Feitan said, “Heads,” While Kalluto, Feitan, Phinks, Belevolin, Shizuku, and Illumi — he joined, though he had no reason to — chose tails.

The coin landed, showing tails. The people who voted on heads all let out a ‘tch’, before the others continued. One by one, it eliminated people until it just left Illumi and Feitan. 

Feitan gave Illumi a cold look, while Illumi just stared at him; onyx met onyx. The dancers, two of whom could give a look so cold they could freeze fire, locked eyes. There wasn't any menacing looks, per se— rather, it was the intimidating aura that surrounded the two. The others shivered; how come the atmosphere was so murderous, yet their faces were so still and neutral? After a second or so more, Feitan flipped the coin. 

“Heads,” Illumi called.

“Tails.” Feitan said. 

The small coin flew through the air and then landed on the smaller man’s palm. Slowly, he unraveled it. There, uncovered, shown the result — heads. Feitan scowled, but relented and walked away. Illumi blinked. He hadn’t expected that he’d win. He didn’t even have a song in mind. 

“What song are you thinking of playing?” Chrollo asked him. The Zoldyck paused, before glancing at Hisoka. He didn't look down, nor did he seem upset, but he was crossing his arms and staring at him intently. Finally, after a bit of thought, he answered. “My playlist is on Hisoka’s phone.”

The magician immediately brightened, his lips curling up into a smile. Illumi was satisfied with his reaction, though he dared not show it. Nobunaga had narrowed his eyes. “Why would it be on _his_ phone?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Shizuku said, putting a finger on her chin innocently. “They’re boyfriends. Boyfriends share playlists, right?”

“I believe you are mistaken,” Illumi intervened, "in no way are me and Hisoka associated like that. Again, we are simply...” he hesitated, still not used to it, before continuing, “Friends.”

To anyone, that would seem like a normal sentence. But to someone like Hisoka, or even Chrollo, who knew how the Zoldyck was, it was something extremely unusual. 

"Hisoka literally said that earlier," Franklin told her. The woman with dark hair looked at him in surprise. "He did?" 

"Yes." 

“Besides, I don’t think anyone’s ever done that, Shizuku.” Machi said, crossing her arms. She raised a brow at Illumi. The Zoldyck knew she must have figured something out. She then sighed, looking away. “Whatever. Play your stupid playlist, Hisoka.”

The magician did so gladly, grabbing the aux cord and jabbing it into his phone. They all watched — most of them scowling — as he pulled open his music. He cranked up the speakers and pressed the play button on his phone, a mischievous smile curving his mouth. The sound of saxophones blasted through the room, and everyone groaned. Hisoka seemed extremely content with his choice of song. Illumi looked at them strangely, not exactly getting why they reacted that way. It was only when Machi started cursing at him and yelling about how done she was with this shit, or when literally half of the people in the room either groaned, threw their hands up, and/or told Hisoka to rot in hell. 

All Hisoka was doing was smiling and turning up the volume even more. 

Illumi regretted everything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i went on a hiatus :'))) haHAHA oops  
> and i came back with whatever this crack is  
> IM SORRY-- SCHOOL STARTED AND I BECAME SELF-CONCIOUS ABT MY WRITING SINCE IT'S CHANGED AND I WANT TO CHANGE EVERYTHING IN THIS DAMN F AN FIC but no bc im lazy and i dont have the time to do such a thing  
> anyways ! sorry abt the shorter fic yall :( the next one will be longer since it's important. updates will be much slower since school's been up my ass so yee yee  
> love u all !


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